when you weed the side yard & come back with 15 lbs of sarsaparilla

Sarsaparilla usually came from either sassafras or this bad boy, Smilax spp roots

Smilax is the fucking worst

The folks who lived here before let a lot of the back & side yards get completely grown over with weeds. (It's fine, no judgment, there's plenty I leave undone INSIDE my house)

Then all the weeds started to Thunderdome each other & the Smilax won

reasons why Smilax is a bitch

1) thorns

2) it makes 5-10lb hog choker tubers so you can cut down canes every day for YEARS and there'll still be new ones sprouting up overnight

3) these tubers are armor-plated & anchored into the ground with ungodly attachments

These things are less normal root/tuber & more like a knot of wood. It makes a "hit a rock" noise when you hit them with a shovel

thought this part of the yard had AN OLD BRICK PATIO* underneath it until I found this fucking Smilax nest

*actually present in some parts of yard

anyway these roots all came from a 1x2' piece of ground and the plant they came from is probably at least 3-4 years old. Found them while trying to dig out a volunteer tip-layered blackberry bush for transplant & was like What the HELL is that down there

technically yes you can brew/eat them but. like. that would require hanging out with them more & I just want them to disappear out of my life already

*looks at the replies w folks wanting Smilax roots*

*looks at local neighborhood absolutely fucking drowning in Smilax*