It's been on my mind a lot lately...this idea that somehow people can simultaneously say "grow and do better" but allow folks they look up to only one shot, sometimes not even that. If people are really going to "grow and do better", you have to give them time. Often lots of it.

And CHANCES. Not a lot of people are going to fix something on the first try. It took me years and lots of fuck ups to unlearn so much of what was ingrained in me from my parents, from church. I still mess up.

I spent most of my life, up until my late teenage years/early 20s being homophobic, prejudiced, and held a lot of internalized misogyny (having been raised as a girl). Even now, in the start of my 30s, I have thoughts and say things here and there that are outdated and wrong.

We SHOULD hold people accountable for their fuck ups. But we shouldn't expect the people we look up to, celebrities, faves, whoever, to be perfect paragons of anything. Most people we fan over in this neck of the woods are older than us, and grew up with a different mindset.

It's a lot to deconstruct. Sometimes you don't even realize you need to deconstruct certain thoughts or words until you're taught. And even then, it doesn't often take on the first go.

Don't hold your faves to any higher expectations than your friends. If your friend had a bad take, most of the time you could talk it out and remain friends, right? Why immediately tell a fave they're trash, or talk shit about them when they do the same?

Stop being vultures waiting for people to fuck up.