Boundaries: do not expect providers to make space for you within their personal lives. They may truly love their work, but they are also providing a professional service. You can experience very real things through transactional service, but please respect limits.

Please don’t see providers in hopes of “eventually breaking down” the walls between professional and personal. This, unfortunately, can translate as an inability to distinguish between reality & fantasy, and can cross the line into a dangerous sense of entitlement.

A dogged sense of determination can become an inability to respect a “No.” Repeatedly pressing someone to allow access to their private life is threatening — it does not say, “I’m willing to work hard for you,” it says, “I am dangerous.”

I understand that the desire to serve someone personally is strong for many, but pressuring providers is not the correct way to achieve this goal. Do professionals sometimes accept people into their personal world? Absolutely, but it should be completely at their choosing.

Boundaries are not rejection. Providers are very able and most often do care about their clientele. They aren’t just wallets. In that same way, you should also respect your provider as more than a wall to project your fantasies onto with no regard for their individual humanity.

Sex workers already face so much dangerous objectification that can lead to terrible happenings. If you truly respect your Goddess, you will be remiss if you don’t examine your own attitudes and behaviors about what exactly your expectations are and if they are sensible.

Instead of being sad or angry you can’t be “let in,” you should be grateful there are so many wonderful providers doing just that — providing a safe place for a vulnerable part of you. Return the favor and be a safe place too. That’s today’s Real Talk with Mistress Amiko.