Sitting in the front yard cutting cardboard with a straight razor smiling at the people walking their dogs on this glorious day of April hearing nothing but the slicing and tearing

That’s a cute Pomeranian. I used to get them mixed up with Papillons for some reason. I know they don’t look similar. Anyway, I knew a lady once that had a Papillon. I made a joke about eating it. She had recently terminated her pregnancy so didn’t find it funny. Just cried.

I felt bad so I just burned the cigarette I was smoking into my arm until there was a nice little crater. It didn’t make her feel better. Oh no, it’s fine. I wasn’t the father.

All out of cardboard to shred.