I laughed today during police work.
I want to apologize to the outrage muppets who insist this pandemic is a huge hoax.
I will try harder to do the work you definitely have never done nor ever will in the fashion you deem we should do it.

I will also scold the many exhausted nurses, doctors, EMS crews, sanitation workers, grocery clerks, truck drivers, & open store employees I see in my precinct if I sense that they are trying to decompress or goof around during this hoax. For fear of angering you outrage muppets

I do like ‘but (insert random) hospital is empty so it’s all a hoax’. Forget that all elective/non-emergency procedures are canceled. Forget that. Just focus on what you’re saying. You’re like Rumsfeld saying lots of Iraq isn’t on fire during the Iraq War as proof it’s all good

‘I saw nurses smiling so it’s all a hoax’ is not just stupid. It’s cruelly stupid. So stop being stupid or at least stop being cruel.

What did you do during the pandemic, grandpa?

I made fun of people trying to save lives.