Read on Twitter
Reply to this tweet and I will tell you what kind of role you would play as a character in a Bret Easton Ellis novel
I know I said “reply” but I’m just gonna start doing everybody who likes it lmao
@MsJillMadeline You have one scene with the deeply disturbed protagonist, who you know from college. You seem smart and probably like an okay person (relatively speaking), but you write the protag’s troubling comments off as dark humor and end up murdered
@sfericals You offer the protagonist ecstasy at a party. When he refuses, you stare at him, dead-eyed, and say something somewhat meaningless, like “People don’t know the party’s ending” which echoes in the protag’s brain and torments him for the rest of the book
@EricMcAdamsUgh Passive antagonist of the book. Why do you get everything and the narrator gets nothing?? You are at most vaguely aware he exists. He entertains thoughts of murdering you, but your actual fate is left ambiguous
@Todoville repeating here for the sake of the thread: Frat boy at a house party. You aggressively attempt to get the narrator to do a keg stand, unaware that he is in the thralls of an unspeakable existential horror
@Cool_As_Bryce Protagonist in a medium-dark novel. A writer/clear BEE stand-in. You kill one or two people, but it’s not premeditated. You’re a troubled but basically normal guy who got in over his head
@itsliamsenior You pop up a few times in the novel- the protag’s doorman, or a classmate or coworker he’s only a little acquainted with. You always have a joke to crack, and it always hits the narrator at the wrong moment, juxtaposing horribly with his tortured mental state
@notthemarsh You’re in the protag’s extended social circle- a friend of a friend, a girlfriend’s brother, an intern at the office, etc. He relentlessly tortures and bullies you, and although he thinks you deserve it (for unclear reasons) the reader’s sympathy is with you
@StealingValerie One scene. The antihero protag flirts with you at a bar or party. At first you’re into it because he’s handsome, but his strangeness quickly comes through and you’re scared away. The two of you probably talk about what records you own before he scares you off
@SeanWri77930234 A childhood friend of the protagonist. You make a few appearances in the book and your scenes are mostly you monologing about a combination of politics and philosophy while rolling a joint or doing a line. You’re a less fucked up version of the protagonist
@allthatweforget A quiet goth the protagonist meets at a party. You seriously freak him out, even though you don’t really do anything. He’s just not used to alternative fashion, I guess
@me_db Girl next door who the protagonist knows he should love, but doesn’t. It’s a shame you’re so hung up on that creep because you’re too good for him by a long shot
@loughney_ebooks Party boy who the protagonist spends a lot of time mentally hurling homophobic slurs at before having sex with you
@comradevoyager A nice guy with a mild drug habit who the narrator is friendly with. Halfway through the book someone tells him you committed suicide. Later someone else says it was a murder. Towards the end a 3rd person says you’re actually alive. There is no closure on this
@aeeeross Sibling of the troubled narrator. He resents your happy normalcy. You appear again as the narrator of a lesser known short story, in which you are an addict contemplating suicide. The two yous seem completely at odds and it’s weird that you’re the same character.
@Steve_Fiorillo The college-aged narrator meets you at a party and considers you a lame towny. He is humiliated to learn you know more punk bands than he does.
@lennyburnham You shyly make conversation with the protagonist during a chance encounter at a record store. When he realizes you are flirting he is deeply disturbed that anyone would think he could be gay. He goes on to have sex with several men over the course of the book
@cross_radical You’re on the job when the antisocial protagonist encounters you- a receptionist or something similar. Your obvious disdain for him chills him to the bone; it’s as if you see right through his facade to the monster underneath. Your scene is pretty funny.
