#sheith fic thread: when Ulaz saw Shiro and Keith, s2, mentions of Shiro's Champion days:

They all agree on this: head to the xanthorium cluster. Find answers. Get out.

"I still don't like this," Hunk says.

"Neither do I," Keith replies. They're huddled in the corridor just outside where Ulaz is still subdued, Allura looming over him with her staff.

"He helped me escape," Shiro says, for what seems like the twentieth time. "I trust him."

Still, he knows it's logical to be cautious; Hunk did have a point about false memories and biological weaponry. And they learned that Ulaz is no slouch: he easily took down the 5 of them.

If it came to another fight -- especially hand-to-hand -- their odds aren't in their favor. But then again, hardly anything is.

"Well, we have to keep him somewhere," Pidge says. "Or do we just let him wander around the castle?"

"It'll take a while to get to the clusters," Keith says. "And we can't keep him in the common room."

"What is he, a pet?" Lance says. "Just throw him where we kept Sendak; that's secure enough."

"No," Shiro says firmly. "He may be an ally, and we do not treat allies that way."

Besides, he'd rather not go down there again, not after what happened with the crystal.

"There's Keith's room," Lance volunteers.

Keith glares at him. "Did you just offer up my room?"

Lance rolls his eyes. "So what? You're always in Shiro's anyway."

Keith flushes dark red; Shiro does, too.

"I keep my stuff in there!" he protests.

"Like your one change of clothes?" Lance says, clearly forgetting everyone from Earth only has one set of clothes. "Yeah, I'm sure that's going to take a lot of time to move."

"Lance," Shiro cuts in, "we can't kick Keith out of his own room."

"And I will /not/ have some Galra in any of the rooms close to the escape pods, the bridge, or anywhere else valuable," Allura calls from the room, tone icy. It's clear she's been listening in.

Keith throws up his hands. "Fine. Put him in my room, then. It's right next to Shiro's, so we can hear if something happens, right?"

Lance opens his mouth, probably to make a lewd comment, and Shiro quickly steps in: "Right. Are you sure, Keith?"

"It's fine by me."

***
Ulaz seems surprised when they all walk back in and announce their decision. "Your room?" he asks Keith.

"Well," Keith says, "sort of."

With some bargaining, Ulaz is set free, and Allura watches them as they make their way down the hall.

Keith leads the way, with Shiro following behind Ulaz, just in case. There's no polite small talk, or even an exchange of names; neither Keith or Ulaz seem inclined to start a rapport. Keith's hand keeps going to his belt, and Shiro hopes the Blade doesn't see it as a threat.

The door opens, and Shiro steps to the side to quickly key in a code that will only make the locks open to someone on the outside. He hears a rustling, and looks up in time to see Keith slip something from underneath his pillow, securely wrapped in gray fabric.

The object's pointed at the end, clearly a weapon of some sort, and Shiro wonders where he got it--from the castle armory? From Earth? Either way, he's glad Keith has the foresight to remove it.

The bed is unmade, a typical Keith gesture, and Ulaz looks at it once,

as if examining a strange food wobbling on a lunch tray.

"It doesn't smell like your room," he says bluntly. "Do you even sleep here?"

"Of course," Keith says, flushing once more. But truth be told, neither of them can remember the last time Keith slept in his own bed.

Ulaz looks between them for a long moment and seems to understand. Shiro mentally sighs. Right. Undercover Galra spy.

"Very well. Thank you for your room, Keith," Ulaz says politely.

Keith half-nods, opens his mouth once, then turns on his heel and walks away.

Shiro glances at Ulaz. "Uh. Let us know if you need anything," he says. He can't imagine Ulaz sitting with them at the table, spooning green food goo and listening to Lance and Pidge fight about video game characters -- but he can at least take a tray of something to him.

It's the least he can do, after all.

Ulaz inclines his head silently, and Shiro backs away, closing the door behind him with a click. Keith's waiting for him, and when Shiro puts an arm around his shoulders, Keith leans into it, closing his eyes.

"You okay?" Shiro asks.

Keith sighs. "I just worry, okay? They kidnapped you, and they took your arm -- it's hard to forget. I don't want you to get hurt again."

"We all will, before we defeat Zarkon," Shiro says softly.

He reaches over, plays a little with the ends of Keith's hair. Maybe he should suggest giving it a trim; it's getting to Keith's shoulders.

"I trust him, though," Shiro reassures. "He freed me from that place."

"I wish it could have been me," Keith whispers.

Shiro pulls him closer. "I wouldn't have wanted you /anywhere/ near that ship." He doesn't know what would have happened if Keith was there, too -- and even now, he's afraid to think about it.

But it's still a possibility.

Because if they lose, if they're not immediately killed in battle, then there's surely a terrible fate waiting for them. Zarkon can force Shiro to go back into the arena, be his Champion again, or turn him over to the druids for another sick experiment.

And if that was how Shiro was treated before he became a paladin--he shudders to think how much worse it could get, especially as the leader. The rest of the team, too--they're kids, no matter how much they've been through. The idea of them being tortured in the same way he was

is reprehensible. He can't let that happen, not to anyone else.

Keith -- Shiro knows he'll never stop fighting, and that's something he's always admired about him. But the Galra admire spirit like that -- which means the arena.

They'll do their best to break him enough to prevent him from escaping or rebelling, a fine line between that and executing him once he's "useless." They'll make him kill, and it'll be different from a faraway shot from the lions or against trained soldiers from the Empire.

There are things he can never tell Keith, that he knows (and hopes) Keith won't understand. That he remembers his first victim. That all of them never leave him. That even if this is over, they'll linger in his dreams, remind him that he has blood on his hands.

That he's no hero or paladin--because what sort of protector kills innocents? He did it to save himself; there's no other noble, unselfish reason. ('You wanted to stay alive for the Holts,' his mind reminds him from time to time, but he has a harder and harder time believing it.)

A small part of him wonders what would have happened if he'd been stuck in that healing pod sooner -- or never. It brought them here, to Ulaz, and he knows what Shiro did, what he's capable of.

That night, he doesn't eat, but curls tightly against Keith in bed. He's a heavy sleeper, and Shiro wonders if it's because of his presence, then pushes it out of his mind. He wouldn't sleep so soundly if he knew...

***

Keith wakes up to Shiro snoring. He didn't used to do that, but Keith suspects the harsh cut across his nose has something to do with it.

Something tightens in his stomach, and he thinks of the knife tucked away under the bed. Shiro didn't ask any questions,

but Keith's still waiting for someone to figure it, snap together the puzzle he's afraid to put together. No one knows, he thinks, of course not, he's the only one who saw Ulaz's blade and his own, no one's even seen his knife, not really --

Not even Shiro. And if Shiro...

He mentally sighs, and quietly rolls over, setting his bare feet against the cool floor, doing his best not to wake Shiro. He's had so much trouble sleeping lately -- not that Keith can blame him -- and he won't be the cause of disturbing it.

Keith silently slips out of bed, not bothering with shoes, and throws his jacket on before leaving the room. He needs some air, some space to think, and knows just the place.

But Ulaz is there.

"I can go," he says once he sees Keith.

"No," Keith says. He's sure Allura would have something to say if she discovered Ulaz out of his room, but he's not going to run down the hall and call out. "It's a nice view here," he adds lamely.

But it really is. It reminds him of the Garrison rooftop, where he and Shiro used to share contraband snacks and have long, meandering talks under the clear Arizona sky. This time, though, there's an expanse of constellations and planets none of them can name.

Tonight, it's much of the same.

Keith shifts his feet. "You were on Zarkon's base," he tries.

Ulaz nods. "I was. For many years. A...doctor, of sorts. They wanted my talents for the soldiers--and for the arena."

"The arena? You..." Shiro. "You could have done something," he blurts. "You could have--sooner than--"

Ulaz looks at Keith as if he's a child. "My mission was to be an observer, not a savior. If I had 'done something,' I would have been discovered on the first day.

"And for what? For a strange prisoner even Zarkon didn't know what to do with? Do you think he was special? Hundreds entered the arena during that time, and more before he arrived. No one could have saved them all, least of all me."

Keith balls his fists at his sides. He knows Ulaz is right, but... "That's not--" he begins.

Ulaz interrupts: "Do you think being a spy on /Central Command/ is easy? What would you have done? I saved him from being one of those beasts."

Coldness settles in his stomach. He remembers Arus, clear as day, how they'd been pummeled and pushed and beaten, how Shiro's voice tightened in what Keith knew as fear.

"Them?" he manages.

"The witch had plans," Ulaz says. "She didn't want to waste him in the arena, and Zarkon agreed. He would serve the Empire better as something more formidable. But they took precautions; they wanted him in good enough health."

"What...what did they do to him?"

"He hasn't told you?"

"Not much," Keith admits.

"Perhaps there's a reason," Ulaz says. "There are things I never saw, even in the field, in that arena. The capability of such brutality, such cruelty. No one exits that place whole."

"And your Shiro--he's no exception. There's a reason why he's still known to the Empire as the Champion."

"But you still rescued him," Keith says. "Why?"

"I saw he hated the Empire," Ulaz says. "But I saw he was capable of much more than the average dissident. The arena tempered him, but he was more than a fighter. He raised morale in the cells, when he could."

"That sounds like him."

Ulaz looks at him. "And his kills were of mercy, paladin. He did not kill out of bloodlust or hatred or even to save his own skin. The man that you know is no innocent, but that is what I saw in him. Do you understand?"

Keith nods wordlessly.

"You're devoted," Ulaz observes. "But not blindly so."

"He's been there for me for as long as I can remember," Keith says simply, "and I trust him with my life."

"The Galra mate for life," Ulaz says suddenly, and Keith stiffens, wondering... "You may see us as fiercely devoted to the Empire or a cause, but our true loyalty lies with whoever we choose to entwine our lives with." His hand goes to his blade.

"It's an old tradition, for Galra to exchange their own weapons. Our blades are our lives."

"They're like rings," Keith murmurs. "Humans, we have these bands that go around here—" He touches his left ring finger. "And have a ceremony and vows."

Ulaz tilts his head. "Similar, then. I didn't know humans mated for life."

"Oh, we don't," Keith says. "Some. But not always." He feels like he's doing a terrible job representing Earth. "Sometimes people don't get married, or get rings. It just depends."

This is why Allura is the ambassador, not him.

But Ulaz nods, seemingly sidestepping Keith's poor explanation on Earth customs. "You and the Champion..."

"Don't," Keith warns.

"/Shiro's/ devoted to you," Ulaz says. "His first...surgery, he cried out for someone, and I didn't remember it until I heard your name."

Keith lets that sit in the air, before saying, "I wish I could have helped him."

Ulaz sighs. "I can only tell you what a--friend else keeps saying to me. The past doesn't change. Once it's passed, it's passed. But we are in charge of the today, and tomorrow.

"You're helping him now, are you not?"

"I try," Keith admits.

"Then that's the best you can do."

Keith looks at Ulaz. "Thank you," he says, meaning it.

He looks out at the expanse of stars. Shiro must have been so lonely, so afraid at the unfamiliar patterns, if he got to see them. "Who knew when I found the Blue Lion that this would happen?" he mutters to himself.

"The Blue Lion?"

"Yeah, it was near...my home in the desert. On Earth. That's how we found Allura and the castle and Voltron."

Ulaz looks at him for a moment, so strangely that Keith takes a step back. He feels the calculating eyes rest on his face, his hair, his eyes...

But nothing happens, and the Blade simply turns away to watch the stars go by. "I suppose you are lucky, then. If that's the word."

"I don't know," Keith says. "But we are lucky we found you. That..." He clears his throat. "Shiro trusts you. And so do I."

Ulaz nods. "Thank you, Red Paladin. May we be allies, and may we bring down the Empire."

"Yes," Keith says softly. His hand goes to the empty space on his belt, pushing away the questions that still linger in his mind. "Of course." /end