Sexism is so successful because people refuse to admit its existence even when it’s sitting in front of their faces

It’s almost like people can’t admit that it’s animating because if they admit that it’s animating it too negatively affects their perception of people and the world

*candidate X hates each woman candidate they run against deeply and personally*

“It’s a policy difference! They’re neoliberal!”

*candidate X is however totally fine with the far more neoliberal men they run against*

“They must see something SPECIAL in them!”

We don’t as a society just do this in politics. Sexism infects so much of our interactions. Women profs get worse student assessments consistently and with much more vitriol. I’ve seen it happen in real time. It’s not because they’re worse.

Strong women in executive positions are viewed as harsher bosses than their peers. It’s not because they’re harsher.

It’s so easy in almost every instance to explain away the individual instance as unique to the woman. SHE was unlikable. SHE was bad at her job. SHE had something missish. But the thing is we turn to the next woman and the next woman and the next and it’s still the same story.

If every SHE is always unlikable, bad at her job, and missing some je ne sais quoi at some point it’s not about the individual person at all it’s about something deeper and darker in the human spirit. Far too many of us have a problem with SHE that we won’t admit.

If you can’t admit and don’t admit it you won’t fix it. And we’ve gotta fix it.