#TigerKing is basically a real life #ChristopherGuest mockumentary. Who would play all the characters if it actually was a film starring the regular Guest ensemble? I think Guest would have to play Joe Exotic, who basically has the same hair as Corky in Waiting For Guffman.

Doc Antle basically runs a big cat-themed sex cult. He also acts like he's above Joe Exotic's antics. The paternalistic disdain that Michael McKean @MJMcKean does so well would be a perfect fit. His long list of serious work could also bring some real menace to the role.

Doc's stable of wives didn't talk much on camera (were they even allowed?). His first wife China's looks alone are enough to cast Jennifer Coolidge @JENCOOLIDGE, but a character that's so blithely unaware of her own situation is Coolidge's stock in trade.

Barbara Fisher, Doc's former apprentice, almost ended up as one of his wives. Parker Posey's @parkerposey characters in Christopher Guest movies always seem on the cusp of realizing the ridiculousness of their lives. Seeing her slowly realize what a creep Doc is would be amazing.

Tim Stark watches Jeff Lowe screw Joe Exotic, goes into business with Lowe, then is surprised he also gets screwed. John Michael Higgins @Real_JMHiggins plays confident boobs in the same vein. Seeing him happily say "I'm his bitch" about Lowe would be a highlight of the movie.

Mario Tabraue kind of looks like Harry Shearer @theharryshearer, and Shearer's dry delivery would be hilarious when claiming he's "the prototype for Scarface," or not being as guilty, because it was another guy who "actually used the chainsaw and burned the body."

Chris O'Dowd @BigBoyler may be famous for playing a nerd, but he's a big guy. With a beard and shaved head, he's a ringer for Joe Exotic's ex-husband John Finlay. A few months at the gym, and some fake tats, and he's ready. Could he lose the teeth, and not do the accent, though?

Office-alum Zach Woods was no stranger to mockumentaries when he appeared in Mascots (his only Guest film). He tends to play nebbishy uptight characters. Could he play Joe Exotic's deceased husband Travis Maldonado? Zach's characters seem to be battling demons, so it might work.

Guest movies are often lacking in young characters. Many of the classic ensemble is too old to play anyone under 40. Luckily, Tom Bennett @newmanstings is young enough to play Joe Exotic's third husband, Dillon Passage. He kind of looks like him too.

Michael Hitchock's @hitchmichael characters always seem like they don't get the respect they think they deserve, but they're also resigned to their lot in life. John Reinke, the zoo employee who wore his legs down until they had to come off seems like the same sort of guy.

No one in the Guest ensemble could credibly play a trans Hawaiian man, so I went another direction. Only two people could believably, cheerfully tell you they had their arm amputated because it was too much of a hassle to keep it: Saff Saffery and Fred Willard @Fred_Willard

Rick Kirkham was possibly the most level-headed guy in the series. His sober retelling of the insane events at GW Zoo could only be played by Bob Balaban @BobBalaban, king of underplaying. The quiet dignity of a man who knows he made a mistake getting involved in this insanity.

Although he doesn't appear on camera very often, filmmaker Eric Goode could be a much bigger character in a Tiger King mockumentary. Guest regular Jim Piddock @realjimpiddock bears a striking resemblance, and would have the freedom to flesh out the character however he wants.

Carole Baskin was probably the easiest role to cast. Catherine O'Hara as a rich possible murderer is a no-brainer. The way Carole tells the story of her first husband's disappearance is so casually delivered that O'Hara would hardly have to exaggerate the silliness of it.

Carole's husband, Howard Baskin, has to be played by O'Hara's frequent scene Partner Eugene Levy @Realeugenelevy. The goofy, ineffectual Howard is a perfect foil to Carole's quiet menace, and Levy and O'Hara's chemistry together will only sweeten this relationship.

Don Lewis is a mysterious character in Tiger King. He doesn't appear, except in some old photos. Was he a hapless murder victim, or a sketchy smuggler? Either characterization would work for Ed Begley Jr. @edbegleyjr, who's sandy hair is a good match for Lewis's.

Gladys Lewis Cross clearly doesn't want to talk about ex-husband Don Lewis, but feels she has to. Deborah Theaker plays characters, especially the bereaved Naomi Steinbloom in A Mighty Wind, that appear in documentaries not for fame, but because it's important.

Linda Kash's @lindakash warm presence would bring to life Don Lewis's faithful secretary Anne McQueen. Kash's concerned surprise that always seems to occur at dinner parties would be a great reaction to the theory that Carole fed Don to the tigers (which I am not convinced of).

Jeff Lowe's tough guy clothing is at odds with his short, unthreatening looks. His rich guy posturing conceals a man on the edge of bankruptcy. Don Lake's @donlakeofficial furniture salesmen energy would be a hilarious fit for this guy who isn't really what he seems.

Lauren Lowe, Jeff's put-upon younger wife, feels like she's always stifling an argument while sitting next to Jeff. Her youthful naivete and uncomfortable laughter at Jeff's nanny comments could be played well by Maria Blasucci @M_Blasucci.

Allen Glover is a tough guy with an imposing frame and bald head. Larry Miller @LarryJMiller is adept at playing characters who present a pleasant exterior, but toughen up when pushed too far. His inevitable dressing down of Guest's Joe Exotic would be a highlight.

This one's kind of cheating. James Garretson has such a specific look, that I had to go back to Spinal Tap (which isn't directed by Guest, but is a proto-Guest film). Tony Hendra @tonyhendra played Tap's manager Ian Faith, and got his start with National Lampoon.

It's mostly the haircut, but when I saw Amanda Green I thought of Jane Lynch @janemarielynch. Lynch is usually a little wackier than Green is in Tiger King, but that straight-laced exterior could hide a more whimsical personality that a professional woman might try to hide.