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i want to say sorry for this thread for those who might find it sensitive, annoying or whatever. So here it goesâIt happened again. Itâs the 3rd time since i arrived home, lol âhomeâ sends me chills:< most of you may not know this side of me but yes, Iâm a victim of abuse.
yes i know this may sound funny or unlikely because most of you think that Iâve been living my best life & that Iâm a spoiled bitch, sorry to disappoint you but it doesnât go that way. You might ask âlol ikatulo paman diay basi minor rasab na, ka oa ba ani niyaâ to inform youâ-
This started way back elementary days but i never thought of it as abuse because i know i am at fault too & also Iâm still too young to know that, and it continued. Nakatatak na sakong mind nga this is a way of âdisciplineâ because that is what i always get when i ask.
i was G11 when it started to get worst, ofc i got shocked. Ikaw daw bi sumbagon ba naman ka di ka ma shock tas ang reason lang is kay wa dayon nimo na charge iyang laptop kay naa pakoy project gina human ato. i said sorry ofc & explained but i got scolded after i explainedâ-
kabalo na daw ko mag tubag2, musukol na daw ko and then ako nga ga libog gi ignan nako sya nga âno ****, itâs not like that i was just explaining my sideâ then bang! I must say that punch hurt like hell specially sakong lawas nga pirteng pagka gamaya.
now that was just the beginning because the day after that I received 2 punches, one on the left arm and one on my cheeks. 3 slaps and tungod sa pirteng pagka lamia nga laparo nasamad akong lips. I had bruises from scratches. I was not worried of my bruises, my worry wasâ-
I have to go to school & obviously di nako pwede i flaunt akong bruises ug bun-og like âguys bag-ong style sa tattoo amazing kaayo lolâ so i had to put powder para lang di kaayo sya ma klaro (lol sorry wa pakoy foundation anang panahona kay di ko kabalo ana mugamit pa)
pag abot nakog school as usual jolly kaayo ko makig tabi dayon ko, tas bisan unsa ra akong mga kabuang kay random kaayo ko. I hid my trauma & sadness, I covered it with laughs. Imagine paunsa ko ga lisod jud ug tago sakong mga gina bati kay if u know me emotional kaayo koâ
soft kaayo kog heart nga to the point dali ra kaayo ko makahilak bisan unsa nakog pugong pero that time ako jud gi stop kay nahadlok ko ma judge because people do. Dili ko gusto makita nila how broken i am inside. That was hard asf.
same shit happened the following days then wala gihapoy nakabalo sa akong friends & classmates.Everyday ga welcome kog new member sakong mga bruises. Itâs like normal na nako nga everyday ko mu ingon âhey you welcome to your new home buddy you will love it here cmâon meet ur sisâ
I canât remember how my friends found out but i can still remember crying my eyes out to them, not knowing what to do. naulaw ko ofc kay feel nako weak na kaayo ilaha tan-aw nako pero that time i blew up. I couldnât take it anymore so i cried and cried they asked me how itâ
happened and i told them everything. ofc they comforted me. Everyday gina check ko nila and Iâm thankful for that. everyday i cried bc im dealing with a lot of things. that time the only source of my strength to fight back depression are my friends they became my family
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G12 years came fast a lot of bad things happened to me. I experienced consecutive deaths, my grandparents and cousin. That time i was experiencing depression and i must say I didnât deal with those things wellâ-
i tried to take away my life. yup, nag overdosed ko. I just woke up the next day in my room with an IV. Ofc no one new, not even my adviser because ofc my family have to cover it up lol. (I know this is bad so please donât do the same mistake i did, It doesnât help)
I decided to study in cebu to escape and in hopes that when i come back home things would change over time. Well obviously it didnât. Iâm sorry for this nonsense i just need to let it all out bc I canât take it anymore and i know hurting myself wouldnât help.
& i know this thread will just go invisible here which is perfect. anyway i think itâs time to log off social media for a while I donât have any business in here anyways. so thatâs it Iâll sleep now. Stay safe everyone & God bless:)
