There's a really popular and very skilled Morrowind artist on tumblr who taught me a hard lesson which was sometimes people aren't asking for advice even if they're literally saying "I'm struggling to figure out how to do this"

Them: I don't know how to get Color right in digital

Me in DMs: hey! If you're painting over a greyscale painting i usually use an overlay layer and toy with color on top of it

Them: *never responds, writes a vague post about people being condescending to them about art*

I DM'd again to say "hey I'm sorry I misunderstood and thought you were looking for advice I'll leave you alone" and they still never responded but deleted the vague post, all but confirming my suspicion they'd been talking about me.

I don't think I ever told anybody about it because I was so humiliated. My intentions had been good but I was stuck with this feeling of being hated by a stranger who thought I was an asshole because I mistook "I'm struggling" for "help me."

So now I guess I'm vaguing but only to finally let it go, I think. When I wasn't being treated for my bipolar disorder shit like this was DEVASTATING to my self esteem and anxiety. Worse, my friends reblogged their art all the time and i could only think of that incident.

But! I'm finally able to kind of move past it I think. I need to just let it go. I'll probably delete this thread in a bit.

And it is a valid and important lesson: sometimes people just want to vent. They don't want your advice. They just need to vent. And that's okay.