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Someone close did the whole & #39;we need to talk& #39; thing today, and needless to say, my reactions to it were exactly what & #39;we need to talk& #39;s result in. Either way, there was no escaping it, so I buzzed back and we had a very uncomfortable, but needed convo.
Worst part is, I suppose, that I& #39;d been given a similar chat by someone else a few months ago, and hadn& #39;t changed those problematic aspects of mine. Which is, tbh, immature, and, as today& #39;s caller said, & #39;distasteful& #39; on top of all.
This ofc resulted in the whole "UGH I SHOULD HAVE/ SHOULD HAVE NOT/ WHY DIDN& #39;T I" bit of self-blame, which was very, very deserved.
And, while caller (let& #39;s call them Xi) was extremely critical (rightfully so) -
And, while caller (let& #39;s call them Xi) was extremely critical (rightfully so) -
- they were also really good with the & #39;moving forward& #39; bit of it, and & #39;don& #39;t dwell on that& #39; bit now.
And, despite having been flakey and terrible with fixing where I was wrong at the last time, this reaction (of not saying & #39;yes you should have& #39;) was a lot more & #39;hopeful& #39;?
And, despite having been flakey and terrible with fixing where I was wrong at the last time, this reaction (of not saying & #39;yes you should have& #39;) was a lot more & #39;hopeful& #39;?
For lack of a better word, I mean.
So it wasn& #39;t a "Yeah, you& #39;ve really been a bit of a dick and more for the last few months, intentionally, so get yo shit together", but it was more of a "you& #39;ve been a dick throughout, you know this, I KNOW you can do better, so now do it."
So it wasn& #39;t a "Yeah, you& #39;ve really been a bit of a dick and more for the last few months, intentionally, so get yo shit together", but it was more of a "you& #39;ve been a dick throughout, you know this, I KNOW you can do better, so now do it."
Phrasing, I suppose. Which I am evidently terrible at when I am bored and have nothing to lose.
Anyway. Not sure this thread had a point, except that I am once again grateful to friends for uncomfortable conversations _without_ being pedantic and holier-than-thou about it.
Anyway. Not sure this thread had a point, except that I am once again grateful to friends for uncomfortable conversations _without_ being pedantic and holier-than-thou about it.
And more importantly, for understanding how contrarian I can be, and still going out of their way to not trigger that trait WHILE being critical of things I can be wrongly defensive about.
That takes a lot of work and energy, and I truly appreciate that.
That takes a lot of work and energy, and I truly appreciate that.
