Keep hearing about gay men who are continuing to hook up during this pandemic. In other words, there are gay men so reliant on sexual validation they'll put their & others lives at risk. If you can't abstain in these circumstances, your relationship to sex is problematic.

I appreciate that it's difficult, and I get it. But I also can't help but feel that this is a clear indictment on our hypersexualised culture. We centre sex so much to the point where when the option of sex is taken away, some of us are so dependent on it we become reckless.

We market this rigged game of "who has the most sexual currency?" as the main rubric for gay men to follow if they want to belong. We self-categorise by body type. We teach young gay men that accruing sex is paramount, that being a desirable sex object surpasses everything else.

We foster an environment which encourages, perhaps even promotes, a reliance on sex as validation. So long as we teach gay men that their value can only be seen through the prism of their sexual currency, this kind of recklessness will continue. We need a culture change.

Side note: its worth me expressing that of course sex is important. The pursuit of sex isn't itself bad. Rather, the act of using sex as a tool to assess your own value is flawed & short-lived. And yet its widely promoted in our culture. Hence continuing to hook up in a pandemic.

Double side note: reflecting on this thread, my wording is too harsh. I'm sorry. I don't want to shame individuals for wanting or pursuing sex right now, I allowed my personal frustration to seep in. Was trying to make a point that this is a systemic cultural problem.

Last thing before I log off: I recognise this as a bad take now. Been frustrated with the actions of myself & others and let it cloud my judgement. Never want to make anyone ever feel less than & recognise that sex isn't always about validation.

I think there's still a conversation to be had about the role of sex and the status we attach to it as a community. But not through my framing, definitely not on Twitter and probably not right now. Linking an article for interesting reading though. https://www.them.us/story/gay-bi-racism-looks-grindr-anxiety-depression?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=them&utm_mailing=THEM_Weekly_041220&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be9fe363f92a4046939ed8a&cndid=24160858&esrc=themsubscribetout&utm_content=Final&utm_term=THEM_Daily