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I decided I should make it clear that I don't think the fact that I take unsolicited advice badly is a character flaw.
It's not a me problem.
It's an everyone else problem.
I don't intend to get better at taking unsolicited advice.
It's not a me problem.
It's an everyone else problem.
I don't intend to get better at taking unsolicited advice.
Unsolicited advice is a minefield for me to try to navigate.
It automatically puts me on edge.
90% of the time it's entirely unhelpful.
Trying to decide how to handle it without hurting someone's feelings is exhausting.
Which makes me even more resentful.
It automatically puts me on edge.
90% of the time it's entirely unhelpful.
Trying to decide how to handle it without hurting someone's feelings is exhausting.
Which makes me even more resentful.
To me, it does make a (small) difference if people make it clear it's not going to bother them if their advice is ignored, disregarded, whatever (e.g. "feel free to ignore").
That says to me they're truly sharing because they hope it might help and not because they want to win.
That says to me they're truly sharing because they hope it might help and not because they want to win.
As a Disabled person, I have received far more than my fair share of unsolicited advice in my life.
And I know a lot of it gets shared because people want to be right.
Which I understand because I'm also someone who wants to be right.
But that's not how you help.
And I know a lot of it gets shared because people want to be right.
Which I understand because I'm also someone who wants to be right.
But that's not how you help.
If you get upset when people don't take your unsolicited advice, that's a sign you might not actually be trying to help.
This whole thread is me subtweeting my paternal grandma, ngl.
