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“He hardly knew what he was doing as he crouched beside her, wrapped his arms around her limp form, yanked her onto his lap. Rey’s skin was growing cold. Her barren eyes stared up at him, and he imagined them accusing him. You did this. This is your fault.”
“Her barren eyes stared up at him, and he imagined them accusing him. You did this. This is your fault.”
“No, Rey would never be that way. Those thoughts were the vestiges of Snoke’s conditioning. Rey was good. Kind. No matter what had happened between them, what he’d done, she’d always showed him compassion.”
“He cast his gaze around the ruined cathedral, as if answers might lie in the shadows. But there was nothing. Just aching emptiness and a sense of loss so sharp and terrible it was like a vise around his gut.”
“Ben pulled her against his chest and hugged her to himself for a moment. He’d just found her, really found her. He’d wasted his life, he knew that now. But anyone who could have shown him the way forward, helped him be Ben again, was gone. Luke. His parents. And now Rey.”
“He couldn’t make himself believe it. Rey was the strongest person he’d ever known. She’d fought off the darkness in a way he never could. She’d saved everyone. She deserved better.”
“As he held her, he sensed something. The tiniest spark. And he realized: The Force hadn’t taken her yet.”
“He knew exactly what Rey would do, in his place. It was the easiest decision he’d ever made.”
“He cradled her gently and placed his hand on her abdomen. He closed his eyes. Called on the Force. Ben didn’t have much strength left, and he was about to do something he’d never done before. Fortunately, Rey had shown him how to give.”
“Ben poured everything into her. He found reservoirs he didn’t know he had. He gave her his whole self.”
“Her diaphragm rose with a breath, and her warm hand covered his.”
“Rey seemed surprised to see him. She sat up, but she didn’t draw away. They stared at each other a moment. He waited for her to understand what had just happened.“
“It would be okay if she left him behind now. Got on with her life without a backward glance at him. It’s what she should do.”
“Instead she smiled, and she whispered, “Ben!” She was glad to see him. Glad to be with him in this moment. It was the greatest gift she could have given him.”
“His heart was full as Rey reached for his face, let her fingers linger against his cheek. And then, wonder of wonders, she leaned forward and kissed him. A kiss of gratitude, acknowledgement of their connection, celebration that they’d found each other at last.”
“But then she drew back, concern on her face. She could feel him growing cold.
“Ben smiled at her.”
“He had given Rey back to the galaxy. It wouldn’t atone for the darkness he’d wrought, but it was what he could do.”
“Ben Solo had no regrets as he collapsed to the ground. The Force reached for him in welcome. His final awareness was of Rey, clasping his hand with her own.”
“Rey stood over the place Ben had fallen, staring down at his empty tunic. Tears streamed down her face. He had sacrificed everything for her. She did not mourn Kylo Ren. She would never mourn Kylo Ren. But she dearly would have loved the chance to get to know Ben Solo.”
“It felt like half of her was missing, and she supposed it was. The girl who had felt alone for all those years on Jakku had been part of a dyad the whole time. And just when she’d discovered that precious connection, that incredible oneness, it was ripped away.”
