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even with all of you, I feel so alone...
i'm so tired for everything +
and pretend that everything is always fine, it's exhausting +
it would be so much easier if I simply had a different attitude towards that +
just a different attitude, and I could have had a chance to have been really happy and complete +
seriously, how much regret I feel for that day, if only that pain would pass, without thinking about everything that went wrong after that +
sometimes I think it was purposeful, because I will have the answer to all of this one day, and it will be worth it, but with each passing day I see that this will not happen and my heart breaks more and more +
and what is strange is that after all these years I still feel the same pain that day so intensely, so alive and so present in my chest, so intensely +
and being massacred day after day seeing them all happy, and knowing that I can't have it hurts me so much, obviously i'm happy that no one has to go through it, and I'm fine that they have the opportunity, that i will never have +
but until that day comes we will continue, until the big day that it will end and I will be able to get rid of all this daily torture finally, I hope that nobody translates this thread, and that was it, see you soon...
