Twitter fam, I'm sorry for this long thread that's coming and for getting into this topic, but I gotta get this out somehow, and y'all are my most direct support right now.

For those of you that don't know me well, I married my High School sweetheart. We were married over 1/7

18 years when we got divorced. Even before the divorce was final, I fell into another serious relationship that went as far as us getting engaged. Toward the end of last year, I ended that relationship. I realized I had never been on my own and never learned who I truly was 2/7

as a person. So we split, my partner moved out and for the first time I've been learning to live alone. I knew this would be hard but necessary. I built a strategy to deal with it. I had my work, the travel, conferences, seeing friends etc. that were all a part of my plan. 3/7

They would provide consistency while I learned to deal with not having that other person there to lean on, as I discovered the real me. Then COVID-19 hit, and that coping strategy fell apart completely.

We're all dealing with a level of uncertainty we've never been 4/7

exposed to before. And for me, it's compounding an already heightened degree of instability and confusion.

Tonight I realized just how bad this is getting. I'm honestly scared that I'm not holding it together as well as I thought. For the first time in over a year 5/7

I had a full-on can't breath, walls closing in panic attack. It was terrifying. A walk outside in the rain thankfully restored enough conscious thought that I was able to center and refocus.

Anyway, I'm not sharing this for any reason other than that I needed to get it 6/7

out. That's a coping mechanism too.

I know many of us are dealing with similar issues, so please know you're not alone and you're not weak. This is hard shit right now. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I love you all, stay safe. 7/7