just noticed:
the dominant part of my brain doesn& #39;t want me to have preferences, so it replaces the question of "do i enjoy doing x" with "should i do x"
it& #39;s so automatic it happens *before* the part of me that has preferences is even able to assert them
(cop v child brain?)
the dominant part of my brain doesn& #39;t want me to have preferences, so it replaces the question of "do i enjoy doing x" with "should i do x"
it& #39;s so automatic it happens *before* the part of me that has preferences is even able to assert them
(cop v child brain?)
rating+tracking enjoyment seems like a cop brain idea
ideally, child brain could assert itself normally -- but how??
ideally, child brain could assert itself normally -- but how??
unsure whether the fact that i seem to prefer(?) doing one task and one task only for ~12 hours in a given day is:
- an actual preference
- cope that gets the cop-brain off child-brain& #39;s back
- an actual preference
- cope that gets the cop-brain off child-brain& #39;s back
if anyone has recommendations or ideas i would be v interested! (maybe i just need to finish reading that one cptsd book?)
just thinking of it in these terms probably will help bc i h a t e authority and what it does to kids
("cop" for me is more realistically "teacher" but "cop" has fewer characters and is more evocative)
("cop" for me is more realistically "teacher" but "cop" has fewer characters and is more evocative)