quotes from Derry Girls, as said by HP characters

Neville: I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.

Seamus: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there'd be a lot less to wade through!

McGonagall: I know how daunting OWL examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.

Harry: Face it, Hermione. You’re a craic-killer.

Hermione: I am NOT a craic-killer!

Ron: Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldn't let me.

Harry: I'm not being an individual on my own!

Draco: But I didn’t do anything! It was Harry, it was all Harry! I won’t go down for something I didn’t do! If anyone deserves to get punished, it should be Harry!

McGonagall: Well I think it's safe to say that we all lost a bit of respect for you there, Mr. Malfoy.

Fred and George: Slainté mothafuckas!

Seamus: I don't smoke either, I just like meltin' stuff.

Harry: I support gays, even though I myself am not actually gay!

Neville: Well how do things work here? How do they work? Will one of you please explain it to me, because sometimes I feel like I've gone through the fucking looking glass!

Luna: You can't marry a Death Eater, Ginny!

Ginny:  It's a pity, cos I think there's something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.

Molly: Ach, drop dead, you spiteful old hag!

Hermione: Genuine question: why can't you just be fucking normal?

Molly: Look, if you fail the exam, I promise you, there'll be a nice wee plot out there with your name on it.

Hermione: You aren't psychic, Professor Trelawney.

Professor Trelawney: I am, my dear. I did a course, I got a certificate.