Law Students/ Recent Grads/ New Associates: Easter always reminds of me of an awful insensitive gaffe I made as a new Associate in my DC litigation firm.

Still embarrassing 15 years later. 1/

It was the Monday after Easter 2005 and I had been trying to find an opening to talk to one of the younger female associates so I leaned into her office and said “Did you have a good Easter?” 2/

She looked over kinda confused and said “I don’t celebrate Easter, I’m Muslim.” Before I even thought about what I was saying and how it sounded I awkwardly responded “Oh, I would love to go to lunch and hear about that.” 3/

She reported me to HR for harassment. The HR Director came into my office and closed the door and said “I know you moved here from South Carolina and you grew up in Louisiana and you were just being nice and were prob genuinely curious but you CANNOT say that to people.” 4/

I wanted to die. I was so embarrassed and so sorry. I started crying just thinking that she thought that I was being intentionally hurtful.

It. Was. Awful. 5/

Here’s the worst part — I tried to explain that I did not to be hurtful, I was surprised by her statement and honestly excited to have a Muslim co-worker because I while I had non-Christian friends, I didn’t know anyone of the Muslim Faith. 6/

That’s when he very concisely explained to me that I was not entitled to know anyone, collect anyone or check off any boxes while employed there. And I deserved every word of it.

Have I said how awful this was and how incredibly bad I felt? 7/

HR cautioned me against approaching her about it any further. But later on, once I did get to know her, I apologized. She said that she was sorry she was defensive.

Looking back, my world before the DC firm was pretty small and homogeneous. 8/

I didn’t handle that transition as well as I should’ve. I share this story so that other recent (privileged) grads understand that many times the law is the easy part of the job. 9/

If your world has been small, familiar and/or homogeneous expect that that will change when you begin practicing. Be better than I was, anticipate those changes, welcome them appropriately. Learn from my mistakes. END.