im gonna end up never drawing again and its scaring me

i mean im kinda just always idling and stuff and i message some people sayin "I LOVE YOUR ART ADHSJG" and stuff like that and i mean it!! its all genuinely good!! and then i go "SEND ME OC REF" and i have so many people i want to fucking draw

and its just so hard because i cant find motivation but i know if i give up ill never be as good as i want to be and i dont know what to fucking do

and then all my friends are into this into that,, one of my best friends is into megaman and dont get me wrong im in love with the franchise its so cool and shit but then she sends me videos about the lore and i either watch them half way through or i just forget and its not ok

i always see people playing animal crossing too thats another thing, i have a switch but its old and i wanna open up commissions maybe but i cant because im so demotivated and no paypal i just want to make money and stuff

i dont even fucking know what im going on about at this point ill probably add more to this thread just to keep track of all the fucking times i complain and make things about myself hehe,, oh well i hope everybody is genuinely having a good easter, sorry if you sat through this