1) Gonna talk about something that probably isn't found on most TLs... but it's something I think you need to know.

The topic is Death.

Or more accurately, the topic is "Do Not Resuscitate Orders" and "Living Wills."

2) I never thought about either of these, until my mom went in the hospital a little less than a week ago.

But I've given them a lot of thought since.

To summarize her situation, she's old, has Parkinsons, early dementia, and took a very sudden turn for the worse last week.

3) I rushed her to the ER and when I wheeled her in, she was dead. Really dead.

They did CPR, defib, drugs... and brought her back. Afterward, it was found in her file that she'd signed a DNR order at some point when she was there last year.

Oops... too late!

4) The Doc said it was no problem. When someone comes in like she did, they "fly by the seat of their pants" and do whatever the person who brought them in says to do.

I didn't know about the DNR... but I'm sure I know how it got signed...

5) See, last year she broke her leg and spent a few nights in the hospital there.

No doubt some "well meaning, caring, medical professional" slipped into the room when I wasn't there and talked her into it because, "You wouldn't want to live that way, would you?"

6) And that's the thing, when they ask you that question, you're not usually about to die. You might be sick, but you probably in for something that's likely to get better.

They're not asking if you're ready to die "right now." It's way off in the future.

7) Hell, they've asked ME about it half a dozen times over the years and I've not been anywhere near death - except once - and fortunately I hadn't signed one.

8) Since she's been in there, they have tried repeatedly to get me to allow them to kill her.

See, I have medical power of attorney for her that we did when we realized her mind was slipping. It OUGHT to have precedence over a DNR that was signed earlier, but it doesn't.

9) The first thing I asked them was, "Of all the situations she's got going on, which one is going to kill her fastest?"

It was the renal failure.

"Can we do dialysis?"

Well, her blood pressure is too low. Ordinary dialysis will kill her - but there is an alternative.

10) "We'd have to send her to "Big Hospital" up the road. They have a machine that will do dialysis without dropping blood pressure as much... but everything else is so bad. We called them and they said it would be futile... so maybe we can continue to treat with meds."

11) 24 hours later, the update is that the meds aren't working.

I tell them to send her to "Big Hospital."

She gets to Big Hospital and it took them 2 days to put her on dialysis. They acted as if they didn't know that was the whole point of sending her.

12) Finally they (with clear reluctance) put her on dialysis and it works.

Not only did it work, but the normal dialysis machine worked. The special one we sent her there for was not needed. Blood pressure isn't what it's supposed to be but it's improving.

13) While Kidney Doc was looking, he decided to do a little more looking. There are a tumor of some sort, possibly an unneeded ovary, blocking the tube and preventing kidney function.

It's a MECHANICAL problem - not a medicine problem!

We went for days before learning that.

14) Another reason we "might as well give up" was that she was "septic." They believe this was from an undetected urinary tract infection.

But antibiotics took care of that and the concern about that is almost over.

15) So now, the two things most likely to kill her are under control with dialysis and antibiotics.

Now the updates aren't coming so fast. They prefer to call when they have a reason to suggest you let them kill your patient.

16) And that brings me to the whole point of this thread.

DO NOT sign a DNR
DO NOT make a Living Will.

Give someone who loves you, or at least someone who has an interest in your continued survival - a Medical Power of Attorney.

17) I don't know the reason and I'm not going to guess their motivations.

All I know is that if they have a DNR or a Living Will they are damn eager to use them to end treatment.

Damn eager.