so im thinking about life again and wondering...
what is happiness? like what exactly is it and where does it come from...
is it from a thing we have in our life, an experience, or the work we do
or a person

or what we are a fan of, or... idk i ran out of shit but like
whatvis happiness and contentment and how do we feel it? such a simple question that im not able to answer. everytime i think about it, i get so confused. why am i not happy. im living in a house with lawn and my own

room, I've traveled n have amazing memories n quiet good experiences, i have supportive friends who i can count on, i can make art sometimes
but why am i still not happy. why do i still feel so fucking empty.

im so confused as to what to do to feel content. if im not happy having all this, will i ever be happy having other things. will i be happy if i move out, do something worthwhile, am able to confidently hang out with people.

will i be content then. but how, if im not content with all the things I already have, how will i be content with other things. why can't i be content. why dont i even know what permanent contentment id is like. why do i hold on to n focus on stuff that makes me sad instead

of what makes me happy. why do i have to be like that. why do i love something if it isnt for me. why do i hate what is for me. why dont i fucking know what true happiness is.

ik evryones gonna skip this thread so im sorry if its crowding ur tl. i do say alot of bakwas sometimes