Read on Twitter
This is good advice. I also don’t follow it. I realized a long time ago that it took a mental burden/emotional toll when I constantly corrected. I just... don’t care anymore. https://twitter.com/g0ldenyis/status/1249165294616051713
While my first name is pronounceable with direction, the surname is not. The first syllable doesn’t exist in English and even my friends can’t say it right (and they’ve tried really hard!).
I just... cannot be bothered anymore. I give fake names at Starbucks.
I just... cannot be bothered anymore. I give fake names at Starbucks.
Back in college, I had a professor who would cold-call on us. He’d refer to students as Mr or Ms [surname]. This was fine, I had lots of professors that did this.
He was *obsessed* with pronunciation. Every single cold call, he’d ask if he was saying it right.
He was *obsessed* with pronunciation. Every single cold call, he’d ask if he was saying it right.
The interaction would go like this every class:
Him: Ms Surname, can you talk about Furman v Georgia? Did I say your name right?
Me: yes! That’s how you say it (lying bc it was physically impossible to say first syllable)
Him: you’re grimacing! I said it wrong, didn’t I?
Him: Ms Surname, can you talk about Furman v Georgia? Did I say your name right?
Me: yes! That’s how you say it (lying bc it was physically impossible to say first syllable)
Him: you’re grimacing! I said it wrong, didn’t I?
Me: well...
Him: it’s important for me to say my students’ names correctly! Please correct me.
Me: okay, so... [explanation]
Him: tries again, closer but not perfect, class laughs, etc
Me: yes that’s correct. [goes back to answering original question]
Him: it’s important for me to say my students’ names correctly! Please correct me.
Me: okay, so... [explanation]
Him: tries again, closer but not perfect, class laughs, etc
Me: yes that’s correct. [goes back to answering original question]
I swear there was a version of this every single day. I appreciate the intent; he wanted to say the names correctly!
But at what cost?! The normal thing would be him saying it wrong, him *knowing* he said it wrong but that I was OK with it, and we never talking about it again.
But at what cost?! The normal thing would be him saying it wrong, him *knowing* he said it wrong but that I was OK with it, and we never talking about it again.
For graduation, I had three separate ceremonies where they’d say my name and I’d walk up in cap/gown.
I *proactively* took steps. I emailed department chairs and asked who was saying names. I went during office hours, introduced myself, and practiced the names with announcers.
I *proactively* took steps. I emailed department chairs and asked who was saying names. I went during office hours, introduced myself, and practiced the names with announcers.
It went well. Surname wasn’t perfect, but it was close. Then I emailed an audio recording and a phonetic spelling/notes.
Fast forward to ceremonies. All the pronunciations were wrong. Not even close-wrong, but unrecognizable-wrong. Even for the one where I got a thesis award.
Fast forward to ceremonies. All the pronunciations were wrong. Not even close-wrong, but unrecognizable-wrong. Even for the one where I got a thesis award.
I was really, really hurt. I never cared about the first day of class name-call in my entire academic career. Or the cringe substitute teacher name-calls. It hurt more here bc I had *tried.* All that emotional burden for nothing, and it was on an official recording.
So yes, OP has good advice and I don’t give a fuck. Maybe it means I don’t respect my identity or something, but I’ve learned to stop caring about things that aren’t in my control. You’re not required to correct people about anything if you don’t want to.
