I have no idea which day of the quarantine this is, and I'm glad we're doing it, but I feel like not really dancing is killing me.

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I understood how important physical activity and routine are to my brain chemistry. What I guess I didn't realize is how much I process my emotions through movement.

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I've been trying to make a space in my home where I can really dance while facing down an oncoming tsunami of agitated depression.

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Because my brain chemistry has a sense of humor today seems to be the day that the tsunami has struck

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Oh, I've been forgetting to number this thread Idk why I'm tweeting this. I hope that it maybe helps someone else feel less alone, but I think it's really about shouting into the void because *I* feel alone.

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It's not that I don't have friends. I do. I'm just not good at talking about this. I've created this situation myself, or rather, mental illness itself has created this situation for me.

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It's not that I don't have the loveliest and most supportive husband. It's that I don't know how to talk about what's going on in my head, even though I had a great therapist for several years.

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Usually, I dance about things. Dancing has given me back the deep trust in my body that I had before terrible things happened to me through that body. But I guess it hasn't taught me how to talk about things.

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