some thoughts on love & psychosis, a short thread

for those of you who don't know my love and partner in crime has bipolar disorder with psychotic features. I've been by his side for three psychiatric hospitalizations.

these were some of the darkest weeks in both of our lives (i remember them, he does not)

during these admissions, there were several weeks where he was totally detached from reality (the closest he got to it was knowing his name and that he was in the hospital). he also was completely uninhibited, which led to some of the following things happening...

he introduced me to his care team as the "prettiest and smartest doctor in the whole world who is actually in charge around here"

he would draw me pictures and collect gifts from around the unit to give me

whenever he was experiencing a delusion (he was a king, a pokemon, a mandalorian) i was there with him (a queen, bulbasour, another bounty hunter)

his mania loved me, and it made me feel like i was there with him (wherever "there" was)

because i was physically there, and with him in his delusions, i hope that meant he felt less alone, less scared

[love can do that you know]

whatever he needed me to be, i was. i was a queen, a pokemon, a bounty hunter. because the most important thing was to just be there, wherever he was, with him