I wish gnomes were real.
I wish they'd do all the stupid shit I don't want to do in exchange for oatmeal.

I'd have a gnome to deal with my social media shit, a gnome to act like my agent, some gnomes to fix up my yard, some gnomes to do marketing, a networking gnome.
There was this guy who outsourced online dating to some marketers, would be cool to have some online dating gnomes.

Life would be so much easier with gnomes.
There'd be no slavery, since there's a magical race of little forestdwellers that would do anything for oatmeal.

No exploitation of the working class, if gnomes get exploited they first give you a proper warning, and then curse you or some shit.
Clear communication!

There's a theory that, in the late medieval period, there really were gnomes in Europe!
If a child was born with a deformity, parents thought it was a changeling, a child of the fairyfolk that was switched for their own kid.

Not wanting to have the child killed for being "an abomination", the parents would leave their child in the forest, for it to be adopted by other people with deformities.
These deformed children would go out and do chores in exchange for food, in order to survive.

Now I don't want those gnomes to come back! I want the magical gnomes, goddamnit, not disabled child labor.

Gnomeless life is suffering