Types of kids on school football lunch. A thread.

The skill merchant. This kid goes around shouting Ronaldo every time he has the ball.

The one who is genuinely good and plays at an academy level.

The Heskey of Secondary. Usually goes around screaming Heskey when 1 on 1 vs the keeper.

The one who always calls for prison rules. This guy will never back down from a challenge and is always two footing everyone.

The diver. The one who spoils the game by going down every time a player gets near him, you don’t want him to play but it’s his ball.

The one that’s full of celebrations. Always pulling out a new celebration after every goal and is the funniest guy in the pitch.

The one who gets the game abandoned by the headteacher. This guy comes out looking for a fight and has no intention of playing.

The one who goes round yelling ‘on my head son’. Has posters of Andy Carroll on his bedroom wall.

The shitter. This guy can’t play football for his life, kicks it out the school gates and always picked last for teams.

The one who’s built like a brick. This guy spends everyday after school in the gym and bodies everyone on the pitch.