Possible LISTEN reminders:

“The decisions and emotions of people in crisis do not need to be serene, to look good, to be comfortable, to validate our assumptions about them, or to be perfect in order for us to see those people and their feelings as valid.”

“When someone in your community has been harmed, consider whether your immediate response educates people on the severity of the harm, helps bring peace or solutions to the table, offers safety to those so hurt, or potentially leaves the harm fresh in the minds of those hurt.”

“It is not a moral failing to say you do not know enough to respond to a situation or that you need time to process your own feelings about it. Taking real time to engage complexly is better than avoiding it entirely, or rushing in on immediate reaction.”

“Listen to yourself often. Value your own feelings as signals about where you are and what you need.”

“Listening to yourself doesn’t only mean fulfilling needs that give you peace, but doing challenging work that helps you grow and resolve hard-fought inner conflicts.”

“You do not have to say anything about the conflict taking place around you. You can take this time instead to listen to the feelings of those affected, deeply consider what you know about the issues at its core, or resolving to speak at a kinder or more deliberate time.”

I’ve been slacking on updating LISTEN lately. It is still a living document of sorts, a process for evaluating how I want to be better at being emotionally available to myself and others in the midst of conflict.

There are even more things I want to think more deeply about in terms of how they create space for listening to others and the self, and in that vein there should be additions to that document soon, after longer thoughts.

LISTEN is a series of small reminders about how we speak and how we actually make ourselves available to others. It isn’t perfect, but it is free, and I can only hope it provides space for better community. https://therisingtithes.itch.io/listen 

LISTEN will always be free, but if you believe there is value in even crude tools like this, and you wish to support my work, you can do so in many different ways: https://twitter.com/therisingtithes/status/1212478805731893250