Being a PNW-er by birth, I have never had any illusions about how "essential" church was. It wasn't essential at all. It was one of several options one could choose to occupy one's time, but there was no special allowances made for the church or those who attended it.

Watching faith leaders across ALL denominations (including my own) struggle with what it means to be labeled "nonessential" has been eye-opening. Some are grieving, some are shocked, some are fighting, some are in denial.

Their willingness to risk the lives of their flocks; their contortions in replicating an ordinary worship service in extraordinary times; their insistence that they are essential breaks my heart.

The church, in point of fact, is not essential. It should be. The fact that is not is on us, her leaders, not government officials tasked with keeping people safe.

COVID-19 has been an Damascus Road experience for some of us. We have been blinded. Now we see. This institution we've dedicated our lives to, sacrificed for, poured ourselves into is non-essential. We may disagree. But the writing is on the wall.

On this Holy Saturday evening, I am sitting at the tomb that holds a Church I love. This event has shaken the last illusions of relevance from her dry bones. All the things I love--paraments, liturgy, pipe organs, hymnals, altar guild, creaky pews--inaccessible to me.

I have no doubt that the Church will be resurrected. But my prayer is that She rises with her scars & moves into a new and different time. A time where She looks different than She did before, but is also more sacredly relevant than She has been in a long time.

Perhaps on the other side of this, we will realize that we have placed our faith in religion, not in God. That our biggest idols are our church buildings, to the point where we are willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING--even ministry itself--to keep them.

Perhaps on the other side of this we will be reawakened to what it means to be Church. Not exclusive. Not welcoming. Not inviting. But a Church constantly on the move, following the Spirit as she leads us onward.

Pulling other people along with us as we seek & feed the lost. What would it look like to be essential to everyone? I think that could be our next step, if we are brave enough to not go back to where we came from.

Can we be brave enough to not seek out the label "essential"? Can we be brave enough to remember that Jesus is not found in glittering cathedrals or stained glass churches or teched-out "worship campuses"?

Can we be brave enough to live as something other than Pharisees?

That is my prayer this Holy Saturday night. That on the other side of this, the Church will remember her roots, & she will rise again--living & holy & humble. That through her, we will once again be followers of The Way.