HEY EVERYBODY let's watch Cowboys & Aliens and talk about how awesome this movie really is.

It's kinda brilliant how this movie immediately drops the audience and the main character right into "WTF is going on what is this thing who are these--oh, wow, I'm really good at killing people."

Also-- points that the dog immediately recognizes "oh, you're the hero of the story... I guess I'm with you."

(and really... if he didn't take the dog with him, would he be the hero?)

"Only two kinds of men get shot. Criminals and victims. Which one are you?"

"I don't know."

CLANCY BROWN, everybody!!

"I've seen good men do bad things, seen bad men do good things. Whether you end up in heaven or hell isn't God's plan, it's your own."

This is when I fell in love with this movie.

Oh wow a spoiled rich kid acts like the whole world is beholden to him. That's definitely changed since this time period, right?

Look, this may sound weird but I really think more people need to get punched in the face by Daniel Craig.

Seriously... this scene in the tavern where everybody knows who Daniel Craig is EXCEPT him. This is fantastic. Well written, well acted, well shot.

...and the violin player scratches his strings...

Olivia Wilde, here to kick ass and break bottles on people's heads.

And then Daniel Craig smacks the rich kid again, just in case you weren't sure he was our hero.

ALSO... let's not forget that we meet Harrison Ford in this while he's brutally murdering a guy.

Just saying.

Okay, in all fairness to the critics... EVERYBODY in this movie has a subplot.

"Gimme your hand! I can get us free."

"...what?"

"Gimme your hand!!"

*crrraacck*

"...aaaaAAAGGHHHH"

The whole sequence of Daniel Craig discovering/activating his gauntlet is friggin' fantastic.

Fight me.

"If it's all the same, I'd like to ride along too."

"Yes ma'am... we got a kid and a dog, why not a woman..."

Seriously... the riverboat out in the middle of the desert is friggin' GORGEOUS.

I really like that Harrison Ford's character in this is pretty much toxic masculinity personified but he KNOWS that's what he is and he's trying so hard not to be and keeps screwing up but he keeps trying to fight his basic instincts.

"I don't mean no disrespect, preacher, but either he ain't up there or he don't like me very much."

"Well surely you don't expect the Lord to do everything for you, do you, Doc?"

"God don't care who you were, son. Only who you are."

Seriously, EVERY line Clancy Brown has in this movie is just magnificent.

Oh crap! Too much commentary. My phone's almost dead.