When I was a kid reading my nerd-ass history books, I could never understand how a boring loser like Warren G. Harding could win election on the platform of "I am a normal human who will make things normal" but now I really, really, really do.

I'm ready to get out my goddamn shovel and dig the old boy up myself if that's what it takes, I don't care if his zombie ass gambles away the White House china.

You know who'd really be a good president right now? Coolidge. I feel like disdainful silence is what this country needs and deserves.