As authors, we talk a lot about how productivity and good reviews don't measure our worth, but the single hardest thing for me to cope with is apathy.

That feeling that people just *don't care* about you or your work. I know it doesn't determine my worth, but it still *sucks*.

Like... we all know this industry is soul-sucking & things don't work right & we're all broke, but then add the struggle of people just *not caring*.

It's not that they hate your writing or you. They just don't care. It's almost worse bc at least hate would mean they read it!

And I've always been that "unimportant friend" that everyone forgets to invite to things & I've come to terms with this, but the thing we don't talk about is how

As an author, your income is determined by whether or not people care about you. Agents, publishers, readers, etc.

Being uninteresting is a death sentence as a creative, but it's also out of our control. If people don't care about what we make, how do we change that?

I can put my whole self on display again & again, but if no one cares, what does it matter? What can I do?

It's just funny to be the type of person who spent so long internalizing "It doesn't matter what they think!"

Just to find my whole income is reliant on what they think, but also, fitting in isn't enough. To be paid, I have to more than good. I have to *spectacular*.

And there's a lot of good advice about keeping your eyes on your own paper, but this is beyond that, at least for me.

It's not a question of do other people have it better but just... what do they have that I don't? What makes people likeable? I don't actually know.

Anyway, this is probably my biggest publishing fear. I've spent years honing my craft, prioritizing high concept ideas, making connections, building a brand...

But what if people still don't care? Even when I've done everything I can do, what if I'm still not interesting enough?