The post office is my go-to example in class of stuff that the government does because (1) we all know and understand that it should exist and (2) capitalism will never in a million years do it. To take down the Post Office is sheer nihilism.

"Here's two quarters. Can you get this to my grandma in rural Idaho in three or four days?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks, The Government!"

"Oh, and I hate to even ask, but she's old and she likes to send me cookies, and she lives in the middle of nowhere. Can you have an office like eight miles from her house where she can send the cookies from, even though it makes no financial sense to have one?"

"Damn straight."

"Seriously? Why are you doing this?"

"Well, we're The Government. It's kind of our job."

"That's so badass."

"If you say so."

"Well, bye."

"See ya. Oh, sorry, one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Can I get a nickel?"

"A nickel? Sure, but why?"

"The GOP made me fund our pensions through 2095, so I need another nickel to get that card to your grandma."

"Sure, no problem. That enough?"

"We'll see."