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1/ An impromptu primer on “projective identification” with real life example:
Many therapists struggle with this concept. Projective identification (PI) has several elements:
Person is unaware of a part of themselves that may feel terrifying and unmanageable (eg., intense
Many therapists struggle with this concept. Projective identification (PI) has several elements:
Person is unaware of a part of themselves that may feel terrifying and unmanageable (eg., intense
2/ hatefulness, desire to hurt another). 
Person projects this awful part of themselves onto someone else with utter conviction. To them, it is a *fact* that other person possesses the projected, hateful attributes. The badness & hatefulness is now perceived as “outside.”
Person projects this awful part of themselves onto someone else with utter conviction. To them, it is a *fact* that other person possesses the projected, hateful attributes. The badness & hatefulness is now perceived as “outside.”
3/ If process stops here, that’s “projection,” albeit a primitive (costly) version of it. But PI goes further:
Once badness and hatefulness is “outside,” person seeks to manage it by managing/controlling/punishing the other, now seen as repository of what is hated and hateful.
Once badness and hatefulness is “outside,” person seeks to manage it by managing/controlling/punishing the other, now seen as repository of what is hated and hateful.
4/ 
Person then treats the other in a way that *provokes or elicits in them the feelings projected with such conviction.* In other words, the person engineers things interpersonally in a way designed to make the projection come true. This is the key element of PI.
Person then treats the other in a way that *provokes or elicits in them the feelings projected with such conviction.* In other words, the person engineers things interpersonally in a way designed to make the projection come true. This is the key element of PI.
5/ 
The provocation or “pull” to conform to the projection is so intense that the person projected onto and into may feel overtaken by something alien & unfamiliar. They are no longer thinking their own thoughts & feeling their own feelings, they are thinking/feeling what’s been
The provocation or “pull” to conform to the projection is so intense that the person projected onto and into may feel overtaken by something alien & unfamiliar. They are no longer thinking their own thoughts & feeling their own feelings, they are thinking/feeling what’s been
6/ “assigned” to them. One author describes it as a feeling of having one’s mind “colonized” by something alien.
If the person who is projected onto and into reacts to the provocations, this is confirmation that the projection is accurate and they are indeed the evil person
If the person who is projected onto and into reacts to the provocations, this is confirmation that the projection is accurate and they are indeed the evil person
7/ they are seen to be. This then becomes justification for the person engaged in PI to unleash their sadism and hate without restraint, since the person it's aimed at is so loathsome and so "obviously" deserving of such treatment.
8/ 
In his way, the person engaged in the PI paradoxically perceives their hateful feeling as being “outside” themselves while simultaneously acting on them. In simplest terms, they perceive the other person as hateful while acting hatefully themselves.
In his way, the person engaged in the PI paradoxically perceives their hateful feeling as being “outside” themselves while simultaneously acting on them. In simplest terms, they perceive the other person as hateful while acting hatefully themselves.
9/ Here’s a real life example, a tweet that appeared on my timeline yesterday. This person knows nothing about me. We’ve never interacted before, on twitter or anywhere. I’m a stranger to this person.
10/ Yet they attribute all kinds of horrible qualities to me 1) with categorical certainty & 2) while demonstrating these very qualities themselves. The person’s tweet could not be more reactive, abusive, or denigrating (to use their words). But in their mind, *I* am the one who
11/ is reactive, abusive, denigrating.
The reason it’s a projective identification and not just projection is because, after getting the tweet, I actually did start to feel pretty reactive & felt a strong pull to abuse and denigrate the person in kind.
The reason it’s a projective identification and not just projection is because, after getting the tweet, I actually did start to feel pretty reactive & felt a strong pull to abuse and denigrate the person in kind.
12/ I didn't do that, I blocked them instead. But the feelings were there. In this respect, the PI was "successful." PI takes two, even if the person projected onto manages not to act on the feelings (Instead, I sublimate my anger & aggression toward the person by using the
13/ tweet as an example of psychopathology… we do what we can).
Projective identification is a defense characteristic of fairly severe personality pathology, although we can see it across the full spectrum of personality health-pathology. It is seen most often & clearly with
Projective identification is a defense characteristic of fairly severe personality pathology, although we can see it across the full spectrum of personality health-pathology. It is seen most often & clearly with
14/ borderline borderline personality organization. The “tells” that we are likely dealing with more severe personality pathology are 1) what is projected is not a feeling or motive but an entire aspect of identity, and 2) the conviction & categorical certainty with which it's
15/ projected. It’s the difference between “Were you angry with me?” (when you weren’t) versus “You are a hateful, abusive person.” The former refers to a feeling or reaction and is entirely plausible. The latter is so global and categorical and extreme that it turns the other
16/ into a 2-dimensional caricature rather than a 3-dimensional human being. The person who says the former is able to call their perception into question and allows & invites the other person to clarify. The latter is experienced and stated as a categorical fact.
17/ Projective identification is one of the most difficult phenomena to work with in therapy because there is a loss of reflective capacity. The person experiences their feelings and perceptions as objective reality rather than as feelings & perceptions (what Fonagy & associates
18/ describe as “psychic equivalence” mode—I feel this, therefore it is factually true). If therapy is to make a lasting difference, we must ultimately help person recognize the hateful feelings arise within & help to integrate them. No mean feat. That's a topic for another day.
