Brooklyn Nine Nine characters as iconic british quotes -a thread (some names/words have been changed to fit the post)

dear lord, what a sad little life jake. you ruined my night completely so you could have amy, i hope you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum cos you have all the grace of a reversing dumptruck without any tyres

i'm sorry to hear that your grandma passed away yeah i actually am like obviously i'm i'm going to be upset about that init yeah and hadiqa you know the only thing is yeah is that no one can force me to be your mate or anything yeah and i don't want to be mates with you alright

"If my Grandmother had wheels she would have been a bike"

“I’ve got nothing left” (always reminds me of holt for some reason)