The great error of thinking that living vicariously through your children isn’t that bad, is that you forego your individuality and dreams for shit that doesn’t really matter — who still thinks about the hockey or ballerina tournament they won in 2007? No one fucking cares

This isn’t just about you, a couple of my friends had parents like this and they are FUCKED UP. You’re in a relationship where the parent should be the one giving structure to the child, but the exact opposite is happening and the kid is tasked with keeping their parents happy

When the unconscious process behind having a child is “my life is lacking and a child will bring me fulfillment and meaning” then what you’re doing is that you’re imposing on a child the responsibility of keeping your life fulfilling. If they don’t deliver you’ll likely hate them

This is the basis of “daddy issues” — always trying to please others because it feels like that’s your purpose in life, being the reason why your parents had you. Kids will grow up into promiscuous social chameleons with abandonment issues

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with promiscuity, when it’s consenting and healthy. But engaging in it precisely because one has mental health issues, often caused by an unhealthy upbringing, is bad