CW: victim blaming

What kind of mindset do you have to be in to claim that a six year old is an abuser to her adult caretaker and then assert that anyone questioning that statement is someone to "watch out for"

My response

And no, the fact that I think OP's claim was ridiculous does not mean I'm someone to "watch out for" https://twitter.com/A_Silent_Child/status/1249060129061736449?s=19

So in my thread I was mostly addressing the specific arguments against Lilo and Stitch.

However I also want to point out that the general statement that this is the "worst" Disney movie ever is concerning when Pocahontas, Song of the South & Sunflower's scene in Fantasia exist.

During a Developmental Psychology class in undergrad I chose to write a paper on aspects of middle childhood development in Lilo and Stitch.

Because I was more involved in the research then and don't have it all memorized, I'll just share a few excerpts for you all!

It was centered on her "developments of motor skills, social growth and emotional growth... peer ostracization, the death of her parents, financial difficulty, being part of a blended family, and marginalization [as an] Indigenous person."

On gross motor development - Lilo is developing typically - even excelling.

“In middle childhood, children make improvements in flexibility, balance, agility, and force (Berk, 2018). In the movie Lilo is shown swimming, running, surfing, and - most importantly - dancing… "

"When surfing, Lilo spends the majority of the time sitting, laying, or kneeling on the board rather than standing...This serves to demonstrate how Lilo’s motor skills are still developing and her balance and agility have not yet met the level that Nani’s have."

(I'm leaving my original references in the quoted excerpts I'm using, but not going to actually post them here unless anyone REALLY wants me to, because I'm not posting the entire paper anyway.)

On fine motor development - Lilo is quite skilled, meeting and occasionally even passing her expected development!

"One of the first demonstrations of this is when Lilo shows her doll Scrump to the other girls in her class. She explains...that she made the doll herself."

More evidence of Lilo excelling in fine motor development can be found in "a drawing on the fridge which...manages to clearly express Lilo’s feelings."

Additionally, we can see Lilo's drawings "hung up all over the house - on the wall, on the stair banister, and in the hallway - showing that drawing is very clearly something Lilo participates in regularly."

Lilo's developing writing skills aren't really apparent, but can be found if you look for things such as captions on her drawings.

"She seems to still primarily write in capital letters, which are easier to master than lowercase." - this is typical for children 6 and under.

HOWEVER, "one sign on her bedroom door, which reads “Kapu” - a Hawaiian word that when used as slang means “keep out” - demonstrates that she is capable of writing lowercase letters as well.”

Overall it's clear Lilo's motor skills are at or above what is expected at her age.

Her social development is another story.

For children Lilo's age, peer groups are rapidly growing in importance. Lilo, however, is facing significant social ostracization. We can see the impact this has on her self-concept in the movie.

"Lilo sees herself as unintelligent - demonstrated by her statement to her sister that a rabbit would be smarter than her."

Lilo also sees herself as VERY difficult to get along with.

When Nani overhears Lilo praying to a shooting star asking for a friend, we see this. "She specifies that not only would a friend for her have to be an angel, but specifically the “nicest angel you have” (Sanders, 2002)."

"Lilo seems to struggle with the concept of what exactly a friend is, whereas other children her age are developing a concept of friendship as a network of support... In one scene Lilo yells “my friends!” and runs after [the girls from class] while they scream and try to leave."

So, there are clear indicators that, while her motor development is average and even above average in many areas, her social development is significantly below what we would expect from someone her age.

This could very easily be explained by neurodivergence & trauma.

I'll get into that! But first - emotional development!

Lilo's emotional development is below what would be expected at her age. At Lilo's age children typically improve in "emotional understanding, self regulation, and moral development (Berk, 2018)."

Lilo DOES show a growing emotional understanding of others! She feels sympathy for Stitch and "repeatedly makes references to him being the “baby” of the family and that it is her job to take care of him because of it."

But her emotional regulation and impulse control...

"The clearest examples are when she responds to mean comments by physically attacking her classmate and the numerous times she runs off instead of staying where adults asked her to."

Lilo also struggles significantly in expressing and recognizing her own emotions.

While most children are learning to understand different emotion words and how they relate to their own feelings in preschool, we see clear evidence that at 6 Lilo is still struggling with this.

I'm talking about the scene where Cobra Bubbles asks her if she's happy.

Lilo's response is... very atypical (and so relatable for autistic viewers...)

She stares at him blankly, smiles very wide (a clearly unauthentic smile - almost like a copy of what she believes happy is "supposed" to look like) and then returns to staring at him blankly.

She then continues with a clearly rehearsed speech about her well being, beginning with a phrase you really don't expect a six year old to use in response to a question about their happiness - "I'm adjusted"

Over and over Lilo can be seen finding it easier to discuss her feelings "through a fictional story, rather than direct statements."

And then, one of the scenes I believe is the best indicator that Lilo is REALLY STRUGGLING to put words to her feelings...

"When Nani and Lilo have a disagreement in one scene, Lilo starts screaming “no.” Nani tries to pull out further information on Lilo’s feelings by asking questions, but Lilo responds by continuously screaming “no” and eventually collapsing."

Now, there are aspects of Lilo's emotional development where she is typical - even potentially above average. This is primarily demonstrated in her clearly developed flexible appreciation of morals.

Essentially - young kids cannot separate bad actions from bad people.

"While she recognizes Stitch’s behaviors as bad, she frequently tells him she still loves him and tries to understand... She doesn’t believe he intended to be destructive, and as such she judges his behaviors as less wrong."

So essentially, Lilo can hold this dichotomy that Stitch is both partaking in destructive and harmful behaviors AND recognize that he is mostly a good person and doesn't want to harm people.

That is... a really well developed flexible appreciation of morals for her age.

All of this makes me feel the need to argue that Lilo is a fantastic representation of neurodivergence in childhood development.

"Lilo’s internal struggle to accept her own “otherness” is often expressed through her treatment of difference in others."

"As Perea points out, when Lilo is left by her supposed friends because her doll (and herself by extension) are “weird”, she immediately throws her beloved doll on the ground and stomps away, only to return quickly and hug the doll tight."

"Similarly, Lilo’s was of fixing Stitch’s “otherness” is centered on forcing him to act as and imitate a person that she believes to be a “model citizen” - in this case, Elvis Presley"

Like her interaction with Scrump, Lilo struggles between acceptance of Stitch & rejection.

Both of these examples demonstrate the internal struggle Lilo has between wanting to embrace herself and wanting to fit in with her peers.

"Lilo fits the category of rejected aggressive children... who often show “high rates of conflict, physical and relational aggression, and hyperactive, inattentive, and impulsive behavior” (Berk, 2018). Because of this, Lilo is often subjected to peer victimization."

The primary purpose for referencing this paper was the argument that, no, actually Lilo is fantastic representation for neurodivergent & traumatized children. She is not a "brat" nor is she "abusive" to her older sister. She is a traumatized and likely neurodivergent child.

She struggles with exactly the areas of development that we would expect a traumatized and likely neurodivergent child to struggle with - social development and emotional development.

There was more in this paper. I also discussed how her financial situation could effect future development. Though money is not much of a factor in the film, we can assume that Lilo’s social-economic status would be a concern.

Even if her parents were well off prior to their death, Nani is a very young, non-college educated, single woman who loses her job within the first thirty five minutes of the film.

I also discussed how Nani's parenting style would foster Lilo's self esteem.

"While Nani is warm and caring, she also has firm rules she attempts to enforce. When Lilo and Nani have disagreements, Nani gives them both a cool-down period but then makes efforts to talk to Lilo about what happened and how they can fix it."

"When difficult situations arise...Nani puts her own feelings aside and tries to explain...what is going to happen and that it is for Lilo’s own good. Additionally, Nani tries to keep Lilo from having to cope with the stress of adult life at a young age."

I also talked about the fact that she is a Kaua'i native and Indigenous.

Lilo is not confirmed to be fully bilingual, however several scenes provide evidence that she understands extensive amounts of both Hawaiian and English.

Being bilingual causes "improved cognitive function and executive function capabilities (Berk, 2018)" in children.

Marginalization, microaggressions, and racial and ethnic prejudice on the other hand negatively impact child development. We know Lilo faces these.

CW: racist microagressions

Removing this scene from the movie was a mistake.

I want to finish this way-too-long thread by expressing that this... this is why I love this movie. Not because Lilo is perfect. Not because Lilo demonstrates perfect emotional control. Of course she doesn't. She's a six year old. And on top of that she experienced major trauma.

But because Lilo and Stitch is a sensitive and deeply emotional exploration of childhood trauma through the lens of an atypical family.

It explores deeply concepts of otherness and the ways that these undoubtedly affect child development.

eh - sources for the stray in text citations I left in while quoting my paper

Berk, L. E. (2018). Exploring lifespan development (4th ed.). Hoboken NJ: Pearson.

Perea, Katia (2018). Touching Queerness in Disney Films Dumbo and Lilo & Stitch. Social Sciences, 7(11), 225.

I want to clarify something: though I focused on social and emotional development in childhood b/c those were what Lilo struggles with, childhood trauma can affect physical development too & even physical health in adulthood.

More info on that: https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en

I do get stuck on defending the neurodivergent actions of my favorite autistic-coded character.

But I think it's important to note that the oppressive harm within OPs take goes beyond just victim blaming traumatized children and demonizing neurodivergent behavior.

A Kaua'i Native child (albeit a fictional one) is being called aggresive and abusive and expected to have maturity beyond her actual physical age.

Black and Brown children in our society are expected to grow up so much faster than white kids & are seen as threatening.

Fantastic thread from a Hawaiian historian https://twitter.com/rodriguez_keoni/status/1249028977361973248?s=19

Description of the tsunami scene - I know this is a bit far down. My apologies! https://twitter.com/A_Silent_Child/status/1249218174010056704?s=19