Read on Twitter
It& #39;s been 1 yr since Corden. Funny story:
My close friend was having his bachelor party in Portland in April 4 months after I moved to LA. I didn& #39;t have money cuz of the move, but I was gonna do what I needed to get there. Then, I found out I booked Corden. Hell yea. Love Corden
My close friend was having his bachelor party in Portland in April 4 months after I moved to LA. I didn& #39;t have money cuz of the move, but I was gonna do what I needed to get there. Then, I found out I booked Corden. Hell yea. Love Corden
I thought "Perfect. I& #39;ll book a door deal headline gig in Portland at the start of the bachelor party, promote it on Corden, & then use that money to pay for the trip"
Plan set. I hit up @UncleCait for recs for Portland venues and she kindly points me in the right direction.
Plan set. I hit up @UncleCait for recs for Portland venues and she kindly points me in the right direction.
I email the booker, and she gets back to me and she lays out the door split with a $250 minimum. I say great. No matter what I& #39;ll make $250 and that at least covers my flight there. I had gigs set up after where I know I& #39;ll make money, so I& #39;m def good. I& #39;m really excited.
This would be my first time having the host of a late night show promote a specific gig, so I make sure to negotiate a sell-out bonus. She agrees and we pick a date. April 23. My birthday. Hell yea. I& #39;m so pumped. LETS GO. I tell my boy I& #39;ll def be there and everyone is amped
I do Corden & honestly it went better than anticipated. I was in the zone. Not to pat myself on the back, but the set timed out at 5 on the dot leading up to the show, but ended up 6:30 because of audience reaction. They decide to air the whole thing. No cuts. I& #39;m over the moon
"This Portland show is about to be nuts" I think to myself. I say "fuck it" and buy a new pair of sneakers to celebrate. The show is a week after Corden airs and as it& #39;s getting closer, the booker is emailing me about light tickets. "No biggie" I think. We& #39;ll figure it out.
I reach out to @IanKarmel , @shanetorres , & @amymiller & shamefully ask if they wouldn& #39;t mind tweeting about the show. They& #39;re very kind and say "no prob". 3 Portland legends with their reach in my corner? We& #39;re good. Plus Ian works at Corden so there& #39;s an extra vouche there
They blast it out and I& #39;m chillin in my new sneakers ready to go. Plus we add current Portland crushers @BeckyFromAlaska & @MohanadElshieky to the bill so at this point, the show is like the Titanic: Unsinkable. My birthday arrives and I fly to Portland filled with excitement.
I meet my childhood friend and his wife and brother that live there for dinner. They& #39;re coming to the show, so I tell them we should probably head over to the venue a little early so they can be guaranteed to get seats. They agree and we head over. I walk in and am greeted warmly
"How we lookin?" I ask. "Still light" she says. "But we& #39;ll probably get walk-ups" she says. "This is Portland." "Hell yea we will. Portland comedy royalty tweeted about this shit" so I go back to the green room to greet Becky & Mohanad. I keep peaking at the crowd. Still light
"Wanna hold for 15?" "Yup." 15 passes and we& #39;re still light. We have to start. We have 16 people in a 150 person space. We do the show. I& #39;m fighting the urge to be totally defeated. I am, I& #39;m not too proud to admit, devastated and humiliated. Of the 16 audience members, I know 12
We do the show and it& #39;s actually fun all things considered. Afterward I& #39;m talking to my buddy and he goes "we were gonna go to this bar. Wanna come?" "Sure. Let me go get paid" so I walk over to the booth and approach the booker. I say "hey sorry we didn& #39;t have a bigger turnout"
She goes "me too." I say "about payment..." she goes "yea we only had 16 @ $10 a head which means you technically owe me $90, but don& #39;t worry about it. It& #39;s your birthday"
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ€Ż" title="Exploding head" aria-label="Emoji: Exploding head">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> and THAT& #39;S when I learned a minimum and a guarantee are different things. I almost cried on the spot
I walk out in my new now even more expensive sneakers defeated. Does nothing MEAN anything? As I& #39;m walking to meet my friends, I hear an explosion. I swear I felt the city thump. "What the...?" And I duck in to a nearby bar to investigate only to see this face looking at me
