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Sometimes I look up old X Files fanfic (not my own; too scary) to amuse myself, and the best one I& #39;ve read this week is one in which Mulder hits Scully up for some phone bone.
On their government-issued cellphones!! Because this is 1998.
Scully is sitting in her motel room, which does NOT have an adjoining room or a vibrating bed, towel-drying her hair after her shower.
Naturally, this triggers a memory, and she thinks back to the not-so-distant past, when Mulder dried her hair for her, section by section. Gently.
Swoon~
Her reverie is interrupted by a phone call. Can you guess who it might be?
That& #39;s right: Mulder! And can you guess what he wants?
"& #39;Hey, sorry, wrong number, I was trying to reach `1-900-REDHEAD,& #39; a familiar voice intoned from the other line." (Punctuation in context)
I know I said cellphone and this is a corded affair. I also know that this is from Deep Throat, so her look is all wrong for a story set in S5, but let& #39;s carry on.
Riiight, wrong number. Like the little doll in Chinga, Mulder wants to play. But his game doesn& #39;t involve a knife through the forehead.
Just gonna interrupt briefly to say that I passed on some weird, voyeuristic one where Skinner watches M&S do tequila shots at a club (not just any - The Club!) before they do the naked pretzel on the dancefloor. But that& #39;s a whole other thread.
Did I say passed on? I meant read almost the entire thing.
Anyway, they& #39;re on the phone; Scully is wearing only a towel.
This lady what?! And yes, that is Consolas font.
Heheh, he cocked it.
Carrying on swiftly, Mulder indeed tells her what to do. There& #39;s an incredibly specific instruction that makes me die inside. I can& #39;t even tell you. He would not say that!!
At one point, he says softly, "It& #39;s me, Scully." Great recycling of a familiar line. It& #39;s actually upcycling.
Then he tells her, quite romantically, that it& #39;s his hand inside of her ... His whole hand?!
I wanna be in you, Scully, I& #39;ve waited so long for this, yadda yadda, harder, Scully. Train through the tunnel, fireworks.
OH WAIT!! THERE *IS* AN ADJOINING DOOR. AND MULDER, AKA HANDSOME, IS CALLING FROM THE NEXT ROOM. HE& #39;S BEEN THERE ALL ALONG.
Scully opens the door and sizes him up. His torso is tantalizingly close (*90s audience & #39;woo!& #39;*), and this author wants you to know that there is a noticable bulge at the front of his jeans. Gosh, what a twist.
All right, you know how it ends. Red shoves Handsome onto the bed and literally climbs him like a tree. They hold hands and each other to their word.
And it was.
Roll credits!
Roll credits!
https://youtu.be/I1wg05bukTE ">https://youtu.be/I1wg05buk...
