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These people have no concept of how grief and trauma manifest in children
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That is the entire fucking point of the movie. Lilo is acting out. Sheâs angry and scared. https://twitter.com/squigglydigg/status/1246984685567143942
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That is the entire fucking point of the movie. Lilo is acting out. Sheâs angry and scared. https://twitter.com/squigglydigg/status/1246984685567143942
If yâall only knew what we went through with my three last year.
I canât go into full detail but: they witnessed persistent, unabated IPV (not at my house, elsewhere).
Do you know how we knew? Their behavior was out of control. They regressed, they were angry >
I canât go into full detail but: they witnessed persistent, unabated IPV (not at my house, elsewhere).
Do you know how we knew? Their behavior was out of control. They regressed, they were angry >
< screaming and hitting and fighting and crying and so, so afraid.
We got them into therapy and everything came out.
And you know, a LOT of people wrote our kids off as âbratsâ. My parenting came into question regularly, as if any of this was my fault
We got them into therapy and everything came out.
And you know, a LOT of people wrote our kids off as âbratsâ. My parenting came into question regularly, as if any of this was my fault
I have a background in marriage and family therapy and yâall. I did everything I could think of to manage their behavior â therapy didnât magically fix it, we ultimately had to remove them from the environment.
But somehow it was my fault I couldnât âcontrolâ their behavior
But somehow it was my fault I couldnât âcontrolâ their behavior
Which is a fallacy in and of itself â you canât control other people. You can try; you can break their will so they think theyâre controllable.
Parenting isnât about controlling your children, itâs about developing a relationship based in love and respect.
Parenting isnât about controlling your children, itâs about developing a relationship based in love and respect.
The goal isnât to make your kids do the right thing with an iron fist, you want to equip them w/ coping skills and build a level of trust in them that they listen to you bc they know you have their best interests at heart. (Sometimes that means being firm and setting boundaries)
If I had tried to *control* their behavior by becoming increasingly punitive, things would have become worse. Having a solid relationship with the kids was our saving grace (and a major protective factor against long term trauma) but it didnât make their trauma behavior go away.
TL;DR: traumatized kids are not brats. Even when parents do ~all the right things~, traumatized kids continue to act out because TRAUMA.
Lilo and her sister were doing the best they could.
Lilo and her sister were doing the best they could.
Also: the boys are fine now! They were removed from the situation and have since âgraduatedâ from the trauma therapy they were receiving.
We still have typical behavior crap that comes with being 6 and 8, but we got through it.
We still have typical behavior crap that comes with being 6 and 8, but we got through it.
