That Lilo and Stitch discourse is bad for a few reasons but the worst is that it takes the ‘you don’t have to put up with abusive family members’ and applies it to CHILDREN IN CRISIS.

The message of Ohana in the film isn’t ‘you have to love them because they’re family’, it’s ‘because you’re family we won’t leave you’
It’s not emotional blackmail to ensure abuse, it’s a comfort to children scared of abandonment.

One of the most common behavioural issues with foster kids is acting out in ways like Lilo, because they’re scared of being abandoned again and their way of coping is try and gain control of the situation by trying to get it happen faster.

“I know you’re going to leave me, so I’ll make myself as unlovable as possible because that way it’ll hurt less for me” is like the most normal child response. They don’t know how to deal with such big problems, so they shut down.

Seeing Lilo act the way she does and still be loved and forgiven isn’t enforcing bratty behaviour, it’s saying to kids that being lost and scared are okay and they’re still worthy of love. Forgiveness isn’t excusing, they know the behaviour is wrong, but not shameful.

To expect a child character under stress to take unrealistic responsibility for their actions and example model behaviour for a real child doesn’t give them goals, it gives them impossible expectations.

Anyway, I’ll use this rant to promote that if you can, please donate to your local food banks, social services and crisis lines, they’ll be a lifeline for many kids is situations like Lilo’s in a crisis like this.