Maybe the violence done to Jesus was not necessary for God's plan. Maybe Christ didn't pay for our pain with His violent death, but merely with His empathy. https://twitter.com/Kullervo1979/status/1248972758362607621
A lot of the pain in our lives is also not caused by God, but a result of a fallen world where people in power use their agency to be selfish and greedy. God does not cause it, but He can make something beautiful out of it. He can roll away the stone.
Maybe His empathy, not His death, is what makes Him God.
That also means it is not our suffering that makes us like Him, but our love.