In other academic news:

I did not win a very prestigious fellowship that I was up for this year.

A THREAD https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">...

This award was the only thing I applied for this yr & it was truly an honor to be nominated by the pres of my Uni & the deans. I was a finalist (yay!) but my prop for book #2 didn’t win. I’m a little disappointed but mostly THRILLLLED that I was nominated & made it to the table.

I’ve never felt this way about losing a fellowship (usually i sulk for 2-3 days) but I truly do feel fantastic. Thanks to my Ford family esp @profgabrielle & also @yarimarbonilla who helped w samples! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✊🏾" title="Raised fist (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Raised fist (medium dark skin tone)"> this intellectual care/kinship network is not often visible to the public.

Ok, onto to the funny part https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙃" title="Upside-down face" aria-label="Emoji: Upside-down face">:

I am so happy that I can finally sleep soundly bec tbh, being up for this award gave me actual literal nightmares.

I’m not even playing...let me regale you with a few short tales:

Dream 1: I did not win but was forced 2 follow a video crew as they documented the winners who were way better than me-including an instructor who offered multigenerational community healthclases in x-large baby swing sets at the park “low impact” for elderly knees & kids alike.

In that dream I also saw an after-school teacher who led kids pied piper style (flute my dude) safely to each of their apts. I then saw an installation artist who painted with ocean & air. They were all brilliant Black folks who live in my subconscious & do better work than me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😹" title="Cat face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Cat face with tears of joy">

Dream 2: I lost but was forced to sit & listen to a man from the 1930s announce all the winners & losers from the FOOT OF MY OWN BED where the podium was located.

It was very dramatic but I did get a “we regret to inform you” consolation card w lots of little sticker hearts.

Dream 3: I was a finalist & waited outside the jury room for hours. I was then chosen by some Univ as a fellow (that’s not even how this award works btw) but in order to get my award I had to prove that I could add demography to my book & do complex MATH.

MATH!!! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😰" title="Face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with open mouth and cold sweat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😰" title="Face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with open mouth and cold sweat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😰" title="Face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with open mouth and cold sweat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😰" title="Face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with open mouth and cold sweat">

If you know me you know this was the worst of it all. Winning=yay!but having to do any MATH is my actual nightmare of LIFE. I have dyscalculia so numbers are legit kryptonite for me. I had many nightmares but suffice it to say, I slept soundly last night 4 the 1st time in months.

All that to say:

My deepest thanks to the C*rnegie Foundation for the opportunity & the hilarious nightmares & congrats to the fellows who will be announced soon. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">

Big-up to you for reading the thread https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✊🏾" title="Raised fist (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Raised fist (medium dark skin tone)">