The Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> - A Story

I moved into my flat in February last year. After moving in, I discovered a cupboard in the kitchen that was blocked by the worktop so couldn’t be opened. This is the Cupboard of Doom.

A plumber came to fix a tap and managed to whack the corner of the worktop off with a huge wrench. It turns out this is not why the cupboard wouldn’t open as it still wouldn’t budge. This, I thought, was because it had been painted over with layers and layers of gloss paint.

So I scraped the paint off only to discovered this was not the reason. Oh no. Somebody had gone around the whole door and over both hinges with thick sealant. I wasn’t going to be deterred by this. Oh no, not I! I bought gloves.

I bought a sharp metal hacky tool (probably not what it’s really called) and off I went. On and off for the past year I have hacked at the Cupboard of Doom. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> Every time I made a small amount of progress it knocked me back. But on and on I went....

Friends asked about the Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">. There were jokes about bodies and skeletons. I clung onto the fact that they would have smelled if they were there - surely? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😱" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear"> On and on I hacked at the Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> with my sharp hacky tool.

Until today..... today was the day the contents of the Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> were to be revealed to me. With a final hack of the sharp hacky tool, the Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> fell off its hinges in melodramatic fashion. I hoisted the door aside and peeked in, to see before me....

A very useful cupboard. No dead bodies (Phew!) Pans and old pillows https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤢" title="Nauseated face" aria-label="Emoji: Nauseated face"> Some ancient booze, and Fruit and Barley with a use by date of July 2010. And a shoebox that I haven’t dared open yet. The Shoebox of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👻" title="Ghost" aria-label="Emoji: Ghost"> (The End. For now)

The Shoebox of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👻" title="Ghost" aria-label="Emoji: Ghost"> (The Cupboard of Doom https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">: A Sequel).....