The Cupboard of Doom - A Story

I moved into my flat in February last year. After moving in, I discovered a cupboard in the kitchen that was blocked by the worktop so couldn’t be opened. This is the Cupboard of Doom.

A plumber came to fix a tap and managed to whack the corner of the worktop off with a huge wrench. It turns out this is not why the cupboard wouldn’t open as it still wouldn’t budge. This, I thought, was because it had been painted over with layers and layers of gloss paint.

So I scraped the paint off only to discovered this was not the reason. Oh no. Somebody had gone around the whole door and over both hinges with thick sealant. I wasn’t going to be deterred by this. Oh no, not I! I bought gloves.

I bought a sharp metal hacky tool (probably not what it’s really called) and off I went. On and off for the past year I have hacked at the Cupboard of Doom. Every time I made a small amount of progress it knocked me back. But on and on I went....

Friends asked about the Cupboard of Doom . There were jokes about bodies and skeletons. I clung onto the fact that they would have smelled if they were there - surely? On and on I hacked at the Cupboard of Doom with my sharp hacky tool.

Until today..... today was the day the contents of the Cupboard of Doom were to be revealed to me. With a final hack of the sharp hacky tool, the Cupboard of Doom fell off its hinges in melodramatic fashion. I hoisted the door aside and peeked in, to see before me....

A very useful cupboard. No dead bodies (Phew!) Pans and old pillows Some ancient booze, and Fruit and Barley with a use by date of July 2010. And a shoebox that I haven’t dared open yet. The Shoebox of Doom (The End. For now)

The Shoebox of Doom (The Cupboard of Doom : A Sequel).....