Academic is fertile ground for self-deprecating ego stories, especially for FGLI students of color.

i.e. “you’re lazy,” “you’re not smart enough to be here,” “you’re meant for less than this,” “extensions are for lazy people,” etc., etc.

And these stories helped us challenge ourselves to be perfect, get high GPA’s, and earn awards. But this is not a healthy way to move forward. There are alternative ways to motivate ourselves.

These harmful ego stories cause us to spiral into cycles of anxiety, depression, and despair. Exacerbating procrastination, sleep deprivation, and overall lack of self-confidence.

By the end of it, we’ve beaten ourselves up so much that we forgot to consider our inherent abilities, passions, and dreams. All because we weren’t appreciating the work we have done despite our unique challenges.

De-centering false ego stories makes room for self-kindness. This kindness allows us to acknowledge mistakes, learn from them, and motivate ourselves to keep trying. It’s not an all-or-nothing situation. It’s a hiccup and WE ARE ALL WORKING ON IT.

All of this to say: be patient with yourself, you *are* trying, and yes, you have *unique* challenges that make this work uniquely difficult. If you need to, ask for more time to finish an assignment. You don’t need to provide a reason - you’re already valid.