Read on Twitter
2020 Presidential Candidates as Children’s TV Shows, a thread:
Pete Buttigieg — Hannah Montana
-enthralling at first, but worse later
-like Miley, Pete codeswitches (see Biden endorsement speech in TX or any speech where he adopts Obama’s speech pattern)
-I can’t think of a black character in the show or a black Pete staffer
-lowkey fake
-enthralling at first, but worse later
-like Miley, Pete codeswitches (see Biden endorsement speech in TX or any speech where he adopts Obama’s speech pattern)
-I can’t think of a black character in the show or a black Pete staffer
-lowkey fake
Bernie Sanders — Drake & Josh
-Widely acknowledged as coolest
-Both very loud
-A staple of any nostalgic memory
-“There’s really no question that Oprah is very much an establishment figure.” - Corbin Trent, a former Sanders staffer, 1/12/18
-Widely acknowledged as coolest
-Both very loud
-A staple of any nostalgic memory
-“There’s really no question that Oprah is very much an establishment figure.” - Corbin Trent, a former Sanders staffer, 1/12/18
Andrew Yang — Suite Life on Deck
-Cruise-like demeanor
-Cruiseliners are expensive, so is UBI
-Not ur first choice, but also not ur last
-Often mistaken for similar thing (Jeff Yang on MSNBC graphic/ Suite Life of Zack and Cody)
-Honorable mention: Biz kids
-Cruise-like demeanor
-Cruiseliners are expensive, so is UBI
-Not ur first choice, but also not ur last
-Often mistaken for similar thing (Jeff Yang on MSNBC graphic/ Suite Life of Zack and Cody)
-Honorable mention: Biz kids
Kamala Harris — COPS
-Defended capital punishment in fed court
-pushed for parents of regularly truant kids to be fined $2,500+ or serve 1 yr in jail
•Said police should have “discretion to figure out what technology they are going to adopt” about mandatory body cameras
-Defended capital punishment in fed court
-pushed for parents of regularly truant kids to be fined $2,500+ or serve 1 yr in jail
•Said police should have “discretion to figure out what technology they are going to adopt” about mandatory body cameras
Beto O’Rourke — Dragon Tales
-Show is a fantasy… as was him being President (and lots of people’s sex dreams of him)
-Random Spanish at weird times (introduction of Spanish speaking cousin in yellow shirt halfway into show)
-Show is a fantasy… as was him being President (and lots of people’s sex dreams of him)
-Random Spanish at weird times (introduction of Spanish speaking cousin in yellow shirt halfway into show)
Joe Biden — Barney
-Been around for a long time
-Lowkey problematic history
-But you know what you’re getting
-Reliable public servant
-Try and tell me their smiles aren’t the same
-Been around for a long time
-Lowkey problematic history
-But you know what you’re getting
-Reliable public servant
-Try and tell me their smiles aren’t the same
Marianne Williamson — Wizards of Waverly Place
-She is clearly a witch
-Hope???
-IDK mostly the witch thing
-She is clearly a witch
-Hope???
-IDK mostly the witch thing
Donald Trump — Sesame Street
-Roughly the same reading level
-The Count has a gambling problem
-Very focused on “the inner-cities”
-He is trash.
-Roughly the same reading level
-The Count has a gambling problem
-Very focused on “the inner-cities”
-He is trash.
Tulsi Gabbard — Sagwa
-Mostly physical similarities
-International Experience
I’m sorry if this was problematic bc they’re both POC... or one POC and one Cat of Color
-Mostly physical similarities
-International Experience
I’m sorry if this was problematic bc they’re both POC... or one POC and one Cat of Color
Elizabeth Warren — Cyberchase
-Top-tier (if you can’t sing the whole Cyberchase theme song what are u doing)
-Educational
-Tells compelling narratives
-Heartfelt
-All about the numbers and making plans
-Always there for you (after school at 3pm CST)
-Top-tier (if you can’t sing the whole Cyberchase theme song what are u doing)
-Educational
-Tells compelling narratives
-Heartfelt
-All about the numbers and making plans
-Always there for you (after school at 3pm CST)
