What you can even say at this point.

Ok, I went in. If you are of a nervous disposition, please turn away now.

"Like a sleeper agent, Covid-19 infiltrated his system and, now that it’s activated, his MI5 is at risk of losing control. The only cure for it is rest – but Boris could not rest."

You know what? He's just too bloody good for us, that's his problem.

Yes, let's have a national whip round to pay for Boris Johnson's holidays to show him how much we love him, it really is the least we can do