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i loved a guy and i lied. i didn’t pick his last calls. didn’t reply to him until the very end. i was scared. the selfish part of me only wanted to remember his soothing and melodious voice that puts me to sleep always. his angersome voice, i wish to not remember.
there’s no reason why i lied. lied and loved. so cruel. i found the guy of my dreams and i watched and let him go. i’m still stuck with my obsessed ex. i’ve told him the meanest thing but he’s not going anywhere. if it was before, i could take it. but after he texted him, —
there’s none emotion except than being super annoyed. he claims his love for me. but i feel none. his act was like a shortcut to make him leave me. his reasons? “i thought you really let me do it” lol. i couldn’t take it. now he’s begging for me to fix back our toxic —
relationship which i don’t want to. i’m tired and i still miss him. i didn’t even apologise. apology itself is not enough. i should be put under emotional torture. for current, i’m lost and numb. every time i pray, i am overwhelm by my guilt. everything i did makes me think —
about him. he has just started working after a long hiatus from work. i can only pray the best for him for i, didn’t even deserve the slightest of his pure love. last night he was there in my dream. it was probably due to this longing for him.
i lied about my ex, that he didn’t contact me at all. though he has been asking about it quite few times. why on earth did i lied. he loves me. and i am clouded with the appearance of my ex. i was too selfish. i know he is kind of insecure about my ex giving me —
things while he’s unoccupied. i wish i could hug him every time he feels that. i wasn’t looking for luxury in love, b. i only wanted to look beautiful in your eyes, acceptable in any kind of way, i want my words to cheer you up, i want to be the person you tell —
your exhausting day. anything you wish to tell, i’m all ears. but i lost the chance. i miss looking at your side profile while you were driving. you are sculpted perfectly by Him. i miss your scents. i miss your winks. i miss the way you called me sayang.
i didn’t deserve you. i’m sorry for being a disappointment and a failure. i’ll be better. by that time, i hope our path will crossed again. i’m just so sorry. i love you.
this thread is for myself, to remind me i have lost one wonderful soul to love.
this thread is for myself, to remind me i have lost one wonderful soul to love.
