Today’s queue, for the artisanal butcher, which is two streets away and hasn’t opened yet.

“Is this the queue for Gail’s?” asks one passerby, referring to the baker a block closer. “Oh. Good luck.”
“Is this for Ginger Pig?” asks one woman. “Yes, but I don’t know which branch,” replies a man.
I decide against joking it might be for the outlet eight miles off in Hackney.

If I’d known I’d spend so long as an adult queuing, I’d have stuck at those exercises that were meant to prevent flat feet.

Breaking: an hour-and-a-quarter in and I can see the butcher’s! Last Saturday, it took around an hour from here.

Hi. If you’re trying to reach me with deliveries or vital documents, my new address is: The Queue, Ginger Pig, Abbeville Road, London, SW4 9JW.

And, after two hours, I have purchased meat.